Shattered Dreams
by Amanda Hawthorn
Summary: Repost of my 2003 story. After spending the night with Sara, Grissom starts to withdraw from her again, but everything has it's consequences. GSR NS friendship, CS friendship
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: CSI belongs to CBS and Alliance-Atlantis Productions. No  
infringement intended.

FEEDBACK: Love it, but no flames please I'm fragile!

SUMMARY: Repost of my 2003 story. After spending the night with Sara, Grissom starts to withdraw from her again, but everything has it's consequences. GSR NS friendship, CS friendship

SPOILERS:Set around season 3  
**AUTHORS' NOTES: This is a repost from 2003. I took this down a couple of years ago, but because of the latest surge of baby fics I decided to repost it. I'm taking my time on the next chapter of When All I Said And Done because I'm trying to decide on which way to go with it. As most of you want fluff,this story is just that. I'm not fond of this story, and I think that's why I took it down, but hopefully you like it. As always it starts of a little angsty, but then it's pure fluff. This was my third ever GSR story, so it may not be as fluid as my newer work, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Thanks again.**

**I'm actually back on the internet again. YAY! So there should be more regular updates from now on. Huge thanks for all of your reviews and pm's.**

**Shattered Dreams**

Soft sunlight streamed in through the blinds in Sara's room casting a warm glow on her contented face. Her mind bathed in its heat, filling her with beautiful memories of the night before. Slowly opening her eyes she breathed in a deep breath. She shifted on the bed moving her hands to reach over to find the other occupant in her bed but was met with empty space.

Coming fully awake, she climbed out of bed to pull on her robe, covering her naked flesh and ventured out of the room.

"Grissom?" she called softly, fear starting to ease it's way into her heart as she became aware of his presence. He watched her carefully as she came to sit beside him on the couch.

"Why didn't you wake me?" she asked, her voice trembling with worry. He looked so sad sitting there, unlike the passionate man he had portrayed last night.

"I was going to leave you a note," he told her softly, unable to meet her gaze, as the pain in his heart matched the hurt in his eyes. The fear in Sara began to grow with his words. How could this be the same man as last night? The man who had willingly taken her body to higher levels of ecstasy?

"A note?" she breathed " Grissom, what is this? I thought..."

"I'm so sorry Sara," he told her sadly as he stood to his feet "I don't think I can do this."

"What?" She asked, her voice starting to shake as she tried to say the words that were choking in her throat, "I was a mistake?"

"Sara no," he told her quickly meeting her eyes squarely, his heart thudding painfully in his chest.

"What was I then Grissom?" she asked again, her hurt turning to anger. "What's the matter, Heather not available last night?"

His head shot around to stare at her eyes knowing that anger fuelled her words. He should never have let things get this far.

"She has nothing to do with this Sara and you know it."

"Do I?" she tried to control her breathing, tried to stop the tears pooling in her eyes. "I don't understand Grissom, you told me you loved me."

"I _do_ love you," his hand reached out to touch her arm, but she snatched it away.

"Oh yeah, of course you do, that's why you want to rip my heart out and stomp all over it again," her heart ached in her chest, thumping wildly as the tears in her eyes started to make tracks down her hot cheeks. "Why are you doing this to me again?" she asked at last, her body sinking into the couch. "Why?"

He watched her silently, his heart crying out to her as quiet sobs overtook her body. He hated himself right now, he knew from experience how wonderful she was, but this time things were different.

"I'm all wrong for you," he told her sadly, "you deserve someone younger, someone who will always be there for you."

"Wrong?" she asked incredulously, "you call what we shared last night wrong?"

"No…yes," he rubbed a hand over his face, "…I don't know."

"Grissom, please talk to me?" she begged through tears. She desperately wanted to go to him, to reassure him he was her other half, the only man who could fill her heart.

He heard her pain, hell he felt it too and he knew she deserved to know the truth about him. "Sara we can't do this again."

"What?" she sniffed "you can't even say the words can you? You don't love me enough, that's it isn't it? That's what this is all about."

"Sara," he told her, the defeat in his heart making his whole body ache.

"I'm a big girl now Grissom, I can take it. I'm not going to go and do something stupid just because you decide to break my heart all over again," she got up off the couch abruptly and came towards him. "It took me a long time to get over you before, but I did it, I made it through. I'll do it again."

"Sara," he tried again, imploring her to listen to his words. "I'm losing my hearing." There he'd said it, finally told her the truth and managed to stop her tirade.

She stopped dead in her tracks at his words, trying to comprehend what he had said. His hearing? He couldn't love her because of his hearing?

"I'm sorry," she told him softly. "How?"

"It's hereditary," he told her quietly. "It's called Otosclerosis." His eyes stayed on her face watching the emotions wash over her.

"Am I the first person you've told?" she asked him, her eyes gazing into his soul, trying desperately to understand.

"No, Catherine knows." He knew the second the words left his mouth it was a mistake. He heard her sharp intake of breath, the hurt in her eyes shining wildly from her deep brown gaze.

"Oh I see," she nodded." I wasn't good enough for you to confide in but I was okay to sleep with, is that it?" She began to pace the floor, hurt quickly turning into tears as she let them go, to finally wash over her face leaving wet tracks down her skin.

"You can't do this to me again Grissom," she sobbed painfully, keeping her back turned from him " You slept with me before and the same day you left San fransico and came here, you didn't even say goodbye," she turned to face him abruptly. "Do I mean so little to you?" her voice cracked with her words "I am not some toy you can use and then throw away when you're done, you're killing me."

As he watched her, he felt his own eyes filled with emotion, he knew he loved her, that was never in question, but he couldn't let her throw her life away on him, not when she could have anyone she wanted.

"I'm sorry Sara," he sniffed back his emotions as he walked slowly towards the door "It's better this way, believe me."

"Better?" she asked, "How can you leaving me again be better?" The tears on her cheeks fell thick and fast, wetting her face to drip off her chin.

He watched her as she sobbed, his whole body shaking, it hurt so much to do this to her, but he had to be strong. "I'll see you at work."

As he closed the door, he stopped on the other side, his hand caressing the hard wood as his heart ached for her. He had to be strong; he had to make her see that he couldn't give her the life she deserved. He never wanted to be a burden, especially to her. Closing his eyes against the wash of emotion pouring down his face, he turned away, denying himself the happiness he craved with her.

Sara watched as he closed her door behind him, feeling her legs give way beneath her, crumbling into a sobbing heap on the floor. He had hurt her once more. He'd taken her heart and tore it in half all over again. As she sank into the floor, letting the sobs overtake her body, she knew she would never love anyone again.

Time ticked away slowly as the sun began to fade away into night. The lights in Sara's apartment remained turned off as the night covered her body, bathing her in protective darkness.

Her mind wandered to Grissom, he had managed to hurt her once again, and she had let him. She should have known from the last time he broke her heart that he couldn't handle anything that involved commitment, so why did she let him hurt her again? As tears trickled down her face, she already knew the answer to her own question. She knew the reason behind her weakness. He held her heart, he always had. He had a power over her that no man had ever possessed, and it terrified her to her core. He had the power to hurt her, to make her break out into laughter and as he had shown recently, make her cry like an uncontrollable weakling, and she hated it.

The alarm clock in her bedroom let out it's annoying shrill alerting her to the time she would usually wake up to get ready for work, but tonight she stayed still, unmoving, letting the loud shrill drown over her shaking sobs. She had to handle this, just like she did before, she knew that. She put his rejection behind her once before, maybe this time, she mused, she could be strong and never let him hurt her again. She couldn't let him back into her heart again, no matter how much she still loved him. No this time, for the sake of her sanity she needed to be strong, and that's exactly how she would be.

Climbing off the couch, she took a deep breath and walked towards the bathroom. Grissom wanted her to put this all behind her and move on without him? Well that is what he was going to get. She would be professional to the letter, speak only when spoken to and then return back here, the safe haven of her home, and pour out her turmoil. He wanted an unemotional CSI, well that's what he was going to see from now on.

Turning on the shower, she stepped into the hot water letting the spray wash away the tears on her face, taking with it the old Sara that everyone knew. Today, now, the new Sara would emerge. Stronger and tougher than ever.

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Back at the lab, Grissom sat in the briefing room with Catherine, Nick and Warrick. He felt sick with nerves at seeing Sara again after what had happened between them. He knew he loved her; he just couldn't let her throw her life away. She deserved so much more than he could give her.

His eyes scanned over the files in his hand, trying to provide a distraction from the impending doom that was sure to erupt around him soon. He had hurt her again, and he'd known he was doing it, but it didn't stop him wanting her. He would always be bound to her, linked to her heart, but this had to be, he had to be strong in this.

A gasp sounded from Warrick as Sara came into the doorway. His head snapped up at the sight of her. She looked stunning with her hair pulled back from her face, and the make-up she wore highlighted her features to perfection. She took his breath away, more than usual. This was going to be hard, he thought as his stomach tightened. His eyes stayed on her beautiful features. All traces of the early tears had gone, her face was the perfect picture. Gulping visibly, he noted that she didn't even look at him. She carefully kept her eyes averted from his, protecting herself from any sign of love in his eyes.

"Wow," Nicky grinned down at her. "Sara you look great."

She turned her eyes to him, his warming eyes regarding her with affection as she returned his smile. "Thanks Nick."

Grissom surprised himself by the pang of jealousy that reared into his heart. He knew she and Nick were close friends, so why should this bother him now? He'd made his decision to banish her, so why did this bother him? Pushing the feelings aside, his hand moved to the folders before him, offering him the distraction he needed.

"Okay," he sighed, picking up the folders from the table. "Nick, Warrick you've got a DB in a school swimming pool, Catherine, Sara we have two DB's in an apartment block."

He handed the folder to Catherine who took it from him and began reading. Sara watched her silently, wanting to speak but afraid everyone would hear the painful emotion in her voice, so she stayed quiet, unspeaking. Catherine felt Sara's eyes on her as she pretended to read, there was something up and she was almost sure it had something to do with Grissom. The pair of them were both acting real strange tonight. Closing the file, she turned towards Sara.

"You about ready to go?" she asked, her eyes watching her carefully as she saw what she thought were tears gathering in Sara's eyes. "You okay?"

"Fine," she nodded, cursing herself inwardly for her lack of self-control. There would be time for tears later when she was alone. Bringing herself under control once more, she followed both Catherine and Grissom out of the room.

Things seemed to go from bad to worse as the night progressed. Grissom had tried more than once to ask if she was ok and she'd just shook him off angrily with a cold stare, even though inside her heart was breaking when she saw the sorrow in his eyes. She couldn't fall for it again, she wouldn't let herself fall.

He approached her now, his hands aching to touch her. She was crouched by deep red blood spatter, her eyes carefully reviewing the scene before her. Grissom watched in awe, it always amazed him how thorough she always was in her work. Despite everything that had gone on between them, she was still an excellent CSI and they couldn't afford to lose her. So it was up to him to make peace with her and at least try to save their tattered friendship.

"Sara?" he asked, making her jump visibly. She turned to face him, her eyes devoid of all emotion. He tried not to gasp out loud, to let her know how her eyes bore the pain she was feeling, pain caused by him. Taking a breath, he came closer. "I'm sorry."

Sara watched him carefully, the beating in her heart becoming erratically louder, and she had to fight to stop the emotion in her eyes. She screamed at him silently, _'you're always damn sorry,' _but the words never left her lips, so instead she nodded her head silently, then turned back to the crime scene.

He watched her silently. At least she didn't shoot him the cold stares that she had been giving him every time he tried to make peace with her. With a sigh, he turned away, pushing the feelings aside to replace them with the professional one's he had always stressed that his team uphold. Practice what you preach Gil; he told himself angrily, you just broke one of your own damn rules.

"Hey Gil?" Catherine called to him as he came towards her. He came to a stop beside her, crouching down to see what she was looking at.

"What's going on with Sara tonight?" she asked worriedly, "she's acting real weird."

"I don't know what you mean," he lied, unable to meet her eyes.

"You're doing it too," she observed. "Did something happen between the two of you?" She watched his face for any sign of emotion and was rewarded with the flicker of hurt in his eyes. "Gil?"

"I won't discuss this with you," he told her carefully, keeping his voice low in his throat. "I would like to remind you that we are at a crime scene that has no place for personal discussions."

"Yeah that maybe so, but when it involves two excellent CSI's who seem to be barely functioning, then it does become work related." Catherine's eyes bore into his, seeking some answers that he was unprepared to discuss with her. So she tried a different approach. "Look, whatever personal feelings you may have for her should not enter the work place, you make that perfectly clear to everyone, so as your friend, I'm asking, what is going on with you two?"

He opened his mouth, trying to find some forgiveness somewhere inside him, "I hurt her Cath," he told her sadly, "let's just leave it at that okay?"

"I gathered that Gil," she nodded "I'm a woman, I can sense these things. I know how to spot a woman who's just had her heart broken remember. So what excuse did you give her when you left her this morning?"

His head snapped up, feeling her words as if she had cut them into his heart herself. He knew she was trying to help, she was his friend after all, so he tried at least to ease some of the pain. But what he didn't see was that Sara had her eyes trained on him, watching him as he spoke to Catherine, their heads close together in whispered conversation. The betrayal hit her like a sledgehammer, cutting deep into her heart, ridiculing her further into torment. She couldn't stay here; she knew that now, she had been a fool to even think she could still work with him after this. And now as she saw the two of them in deep conversation she had never felt so alone in her life.

The end of shift came around slowly, bringing with it the end of a long painful night for Sara. The ride back to the lab had been made in silence for her part. She sat in the back of the car, staring out of the window, letting the banter from the two people in the front wash over her. Grissom's eyes kept darting to the cab mirror to catch a glimpse of her face. She was so quiet, she had barely spoken a word to anyone since she arrived tonight and he knew he was to blame. He had to fix this somehow. He couldn't lose her because of his stupidity, and even though he had pushed her away once more, he still couldn't bear to let her go.

Sara wanted to scream, yell, anything to ease this pain inside her, but she couldn't crack now. She knew he was watching her, she could feel his eyes on her even without seeing him. She hoped he was hurting, if only a fraction of what she felt, just anything to prove to her that he regretted leaving her again. She gazed out of the window and let out a tired sigh, in a few hours she could go home and then she could cry, so until then, the mask had to fall over her face, hiding all the insecurities of her heart beneath it.

Things were no better when they arrived back either. She retreated to her lab as soon as they returned; taking the evidence she had collected into the privacy of her own space. She knew people had started to notice her seemingly withdrawal from everyone, and at the moment she didn't care, she just wanted this to be over. She wanted the pain to end. Grissom had tried to talk to her but she just couldn't be near him, not yet anyway. The pain in her heart was still too raw. Sighing heavily, she returned to the evidence bags, praying that the night would go quickly.

In the locker room later, she pulled on her coat tiredly, the whole night had seemed to drag into long hours when all she wanted to do was get home and crawl into her bed. She was so tired, the feelings inside taking their toll on her body. She needed to get away from here to clear her head. Maybe take a vacation somewhere, anywhere just as long as it was away from everyone.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear Nick come up behind her. "Hey Sara," he smiled.

At the sound of his voice she whirled around to face him, the quick movements bringing a wave of dizziness over her making her legs give way beneath her.

Nick was there in a heartbeat, catching her before she could hit the ground "Hey easy," he soothed, sitting her down on a chair "you okay?"

"Sorry," she sighed tiredly, moving a hand over her face to ease the headache away. "Guess I'm just more tired than I thought."

"Well you're not driving like this," he told her as he reached down to take hold of her hand "Come on, I'll take you home."

"It's okay, Nick," she smiled, trying to convince him she was really alright. "I'll be fine."

"Sorry," he told her, pulling on his own jacket. "No arguments."

Admitting defeat, she allowed him to lead her out of the lab, too tired to care, but at the same time relieved that someone here actually cared about her. Sighing heavily, she took his offered hand and followed him out of the lab.

Grissom saw them as they walked passed his door. He noticed instantly that their hands were joined, and he didn't like it. Hot jealousy filled his heart, blinding his mind of rational thoughts bringing with it a new knowledge that what he still felt for Sara would not just simply go away. He couldn't help the feeling of doom, telling him that he had lost her forever this time. Sinking back further into his chair, he brought a hand to his eyes and rubbed them tiredly. He just wished he could turn back the clock and undo the damage he'd done, he just hoped he wasn't too late.

00000000000

Nick watched her carefully as she climbed into his car. Her whole body seemed to shake as she let a heavy sigh escape her lips, her eyes closing as soon as her head leaned back against the headrest. He had to admit, he was worried. He couldn't remember a time when he had seen her so pale before.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked her again, trying to reassure himself more than anything.

"I'm fine," she told him, opening her eyes to watch him as he started the car. "I haven't eaten since yesterday and I'm tired that's all."

"You haven't eaten? Honey, you need food, and you're gonna eat before I take you home"

"Nicky, I'm fine," she smiled again, trying her best to reassure him. "I'll eat something later. Can we please leave, now?"

"Okay, but I'm staying with you until you actually eat something," he kept his voice firm making her understand that there was no room for argument. So as her eyes met his she just sighed, admitting defeat, anything to get away from here.

True to his word, Nick pushed her into her apartment and ordered her to sit down while he invaded her kitchen. Sinking down into the soft couch, she felt herself relax. Easing her aching body into the cushions letting herself relax for the first time since this whole nightmare began. She felt completely drained. Everything inside her body hurt and she couldn't ever remember it hurting this badly the last time. Or maybe it did and she'd blocked it out, and maybe that's why she let herself be hurt again. The thoughts swirled around inside her head, making it ache with heavy pain as she finally closed her eyes, letting herself fall into the dark void that her heart had become.

"Sara, you want coffee?" he called out to her, his hand searching her cupboards for the spare jar of coffee she always kept on the top shelf. Pulling it down, he smiled triumphantly at the object in his hands.

"Sar?" he called out again as he pushed the cupboard doors closed again, then moved over to click the switch on the kettle. When he didn't hear her voice, he put the jar down to walk back out into the living room, his eyes instantly meeting her sleeping face.

"Oh honey," he sighed heavily as he came towards her quietly. "You were tired after all," he told her in a whisper. Reaching out behind her, he pulled down the blanket she always kept folded on the arm of the chair and draped it over her shoulders carefully. She looked so fragile lying there, tucked beneath her warm cocoon. Reaching out a hand he gently smoothed the hair from around her face to tuck it behind her ear before leaning down to plant a soft kiss on her head.

Turning, he silently moved back into the kitchen to finish making himself some coffee. He knew he should leave and let her sleep, but something kept nagging inside his head that she needed him. So grabbing the steaming coffee, he walked back into the living room to sink down on the couch next to her feet. He would be here for her, he decided, no matter what the problem was, he'd help her through it.

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Things with Grissom weren't much better. He couldn't get Sara out of his mind; she was everywhere, haunting his thoughts, turning them into mournful ramblings that made his head ache. He hurt all over. His body ached from the night of lovemaking he had shared with her, taking his body to new extremes of pleasure with her love. She had shown him how much she had matured over the years in both skill and beauty. He knew it bothered him that she had no doubt slept with other men, why wouldn't she, she was beautiful, but he still didn't like it. His mind wandered to her, and the pain in her eyes haunting her face. How could he keep pushing her away from him? He knew what he was doing, every time she came too close his barriers would shoot back up over his heart blocking any advance from her, keeping her away from his vulnerability.

And every time she came back, pushing against the walls around his heart, demanding entry until occasionally, like last night, he let her in.

"I am such a fool," he groaned to no one in particular. He'd had the opportunity to have the love of a beautiful, desirable woman and what had he done? Pushed her away, again, just because he was scared of the power she held over him just with a simple smile. How could he ever ask her to forgive him again? Would she ever?

Closing his eyes, he tried to push all thoughts of her away as he sought sleep, needing it's blissful release, but it wouldn't come. He knew, as he had always known, his feelings for Sara were out of control and it was time he faced them once and for all. Tomorrow, he promised himself, tomorrow he would try and rebuild the trust he had broken. They couldn't go on like this.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who left a review. I'm trying to edit this as I go along. I've been cringing at all the mistakes I found in it. I really, really do not like this story, but you readers want fluff, so be warned in the next couple of chapters it gets hyper fluffy from then on. I just want to remind everyone that this a repost from 2003.**

**All mistakes in this are still my own!**

2

Sara opened her eyes slowly feeling sunlight on her face. She wondered briefly why she was on her couch and not in her bed, until the memories hit her with a fierce blow. Her head and neck ached from the day before and she could feel the depression setting deep inside her before she could even think to stop it. As she tried to shift her body, she realized she couldn't move her legs. Lifting her head up she instantly saw what was causing the obstruction.

Nick was sat at the end of the couch with his head thrown back against the backrest, his mouth open and deeply asleep. Her eyes travelled down towards her legs to see his arm rested over her calves, keeping her close to him even in sleep.

Smiling, she eased herself back down onto the couch letting her eyes close again. He had stayed with her all this time, and that meant a whole lot to her. He cared enough to see her through this, giving her hope that maybe things wouldn't be so bleak after all.

She knew in her heart that if she had at least one person who cared she could face going back to the lab, no matter how much she hurt. She knew she had to be strong for the sake of her own sanity and that of her friend beside her. She could get through this. She would always love Grissom that was something that wouldn't ever stop no matter how much she wished it would. Closing her eyes again she welcomed the heavy pull of sleep, knowing that what ever happened when she woke up, she wouldn't have to be alone.

Nick awoke sometime later. Opening his eyes slowly he scanned the room, and for a moment he wondered where he was. Sudden memories came flooding back in one swift wave and he found himself focusing on Sara. He still didn't know what had happened to make her so sad, but he knew she would confide in him if or when she was ready. Shifting slightly he felt pain shoot up his spine. His back ached from being sat in an upright position all night but as his eyes travelled down to Sara he smiled. It looked like she hadn't moved since she'd fallen asleep and he saw too that the paleness from her face had seemed to fade.

Moving his hands gently on her legs he slowly started to disentangle his arms, trying to move quietly as not to wake her. The crick in his neck sent shards of pain throughout his body when he extracted himself from the couch to stand up. Moving forward he tried to combat the stiffness by putting his hands on hips as he tried to ease the pain from his joints.

Sara opened her eyes slowly and focussed on him as he performed his little ritual and couldn't help the soft smile that spread across her lips.

"Morning Nick."

His head whipped around to see her watching him and rewarded her with a huge smile.

"Hey. How you feeling this morning?"

Pulling herself up to sit on the couch she felt a wave of dizziness wash over her again and the paleness returned to her face almost immediately. Taking a deep breath she tried to swallow the nausea that churned in her stomach. "Urgh..."

"Sara, are you okay?" he was beside her in an instant. He regarded her worriedly as he rubbed her bare arms, trying to put some heat into her skin. "Why don't you go grab a shower and I'll fix you something to eat."

Sara's eyes met his then, a wave of sadness coming. "I'm not really hungry."

"Sara, you are going to eat something," he told her, his eyes noticing instantly the pain behind her lashes. "Then we are going to talk."

"Nick," she whispered as her lower lip quivered slightly as she fought back the welling tears in her eyes. "Please…"

Nick didn't know what to do at first. Sara was the strongest woman he had ever known and to see her like this, so close to tears unnerved him slightly. His hand came up to gently cup her cheek, brushing away a single tear that had escaped from her eyes.

"I can't do it," she sniffed as her voice broke. "I just can't."

"Tell me," he whispered as he slipped his arms around her, holding her tightly against the whacking sobs that had overtaken her body. He found himself rocking her gently, pulling her tight against his chest trying to absorb her pain, anything to make her feel better.

"He doesn't want me," she sobbed against his chest, wetting his shirt with her tears as she sobbed those words over and over again.

Nick's head ached with the knowledge that someone could possibly turn her away. She was an amazing, beautiful woman who held men captive with just one of her smiles. She was his sister and best friend all rolled into one.

"Whoever he is," he whispered into her hair, "he is not worth it if he's causing you so much pain."

"I love him Nicky," she sniffed into his chest. "I gave him everything and he still doesn't want me."

"Oh Sara," he soothed; rocking her. "Then he doesn't deserve you, sweetie. He's a damn fool for letting you go."

He felt her begin to pull away from him, her head coming up to meet his eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Thank you."

Smiling, he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "You'll find someone one day who loves you for who you are," he whispered against her skin, "and when that day comes, I'll throw you the biggest party you've ever seen."

He felt her pull him closer at his words, seeking all the comfort he could offer her, and slowly, the sobbing began to subside as they stayed as they were, arms wrapped around each other in companionable silence.

Sara felt the tears began to slowly die away as she moved in his arms to look up into his face again, adoration shining from her eyes.

"Thanks Nick, I don't know where I'd be without you."

"Hey let's not even think about that, okay?" he grinned as he moved to stand, pulling her up with him. "Come on, you go grab that shower and I'll make you some breakfast."

They stood there for a long moment; both content to draw strength from each other until the spell was broken and they began to move away.

He watched her as she walked towards the bathroom, anger building in his chest at the man who had done this to her. Sighing heavily, he walked towards the kitchen even though he couldn't seem to erase the pain in her voice. As he pulled some milk out of the refrigerator he made a silent vow that he would always be there for her, no matter how long she needed him.

The night came around too quickly for Sara's liking. She had tried to prepare herself for the meeting with Grissom that she knew she would eventually have to face. Nick had been her rock. He'd done his best to help her see that there was nothing at all wrong with her. That she was a highly desirable woman and he even stooped so low as to ask Greg to give her a demonstration of just how attractive she actually was.

Naturally she had declined, but the thought made her smile anyway, at least she felt better than yesterday.

Coming into the break room, she tried to stop the shaking that seemed to take over her body as she noticed Catherine and Grissom talking quietly. A pang of jealousy hit her at their closeness. She wondered for a second if his reluctance to commit to her was because he was torn between the two of them. Shaking the feeling away she knew deep inside that it was just her insecurities fuelling her fears and nothing more. He didn't want her anyway she mused, so why should she even care? But the truth was, she did care and it hurt like hell.

Grissom caught sight of her over Catherine's shoulder. She stood quietly in the doorway looking so lost and alone that the pang of regret caused his heart rate to beat wildly in his chest. His eyes searched her face as he heard his own voice dying away. He felt the spark instantly; this thing between them was still alive and just wouldn't be silenced no matter how hard he tried to extinguish the fire she caused in him. He loved her, and no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself, he just couldn't any more.

Sara felt as if she was drowning under his gaze and hurriedly averted her eyes, hiding the hurt away so he couldn't see how weak she was really feeling. She felt sick. Everything seemed to be hitting her at once and she fought to keep control of her emotions. Remembering her own promise to herself, she pushed the tough mask onto her face, banishing the pain from visible view. Lifting her head she looked into his face, silently challenging him to say something, but all he did was open and close his mouth.

Grissom watched her intently. He felt the pain jolt in his heart, causing his breath to catch in his throat. Now more than ever he needed to talk to her, and he only knew one way to be able to do it.

He watched silently as the rest of his team filed into the break room, noticing that Nick moved to place his arm protectively over Sara's shoulder, giving her a brief hug before letting his hand fall from her shoulders before he moved away. She smiled at him with obvious affection, which caused something deep inside him to churn sickeningly. The feeling escalated even more when she moved to sit beside Nicky on the couch, staying close to him. He watched them carefully as they spoke quietly, his eyes trying to read their lips for any indication of his name.

"Hey Gris," Warrick chuckled as he waved a hand I front of his boss. "Earth to Gris..."

Grissom instantly snatched his eyes away from them coming around to stare blankly into Warrick's face and he suddenly felt very foolish.

"Hey, you okay?" Catherine asked him quietly.

"Fine," he snapped abruptly, causing her to raise an eyebrow in a way that he knew she would get to the bottom of his bizarre behaviour. Moving to the assignment slips in his hands he started to hand them out. "Catherine you're with Warrick, Nick you're solo." His eyes moved to the last folder, then slowly came to rest on the dark haired woman who sat quietly on a chair. "Sara, you're with me."

Sara's eyes grew like huge saucers when he mentioned her name. She could feel her mouth suddenly grow dry at the thought of spending time with him alone. She didn't know if she could keep up the pretence that she was strong enough to be without him, knowing one look into her eyes would reveal the truth to him.

She sat numbly while Warrick, Nick and Catherine left the room, her eyes falling to the now empty doorway. She knew she had to move, but the tremors in her body kept her rooted to the seat.

They were both silent for a long time, neither daring to speak for fear of the pain seeping into their words. Grissom felt his breath coming in small rasping gasps as he watched her. He needed to heal this gaping hole inside him and he knew she was the only one who could help him do that.

"Sara," he began at last, stepping closer towards her, his hand reaching out to touch her arm.

She met his eyes with alarm, springing from her seat and moving towards the door at lightning speed. She knew if he touched her she would never be able to keep the walls up around her heart, and he would see the love escaping into her eyes.

"We um, we better go," she managed before averting her eyes, biting down hard on her bottom lip to stop the shaking. Grissom watched her leave, his heart sinking in his chest, well what did he expect, he mused to himself. This was his fault, all because he was afraid to commit to her. He needed to link with her again, to let her know his heart and body still craved her warmth but he was afraid he was already too late.

0000000000000000

Sara stared out of the window as they drove towards the crime scene, her body acutely aware of his presence, and it scared her. How could he still evoke this kind of response from her body when she had closed herself off from him completely? She knew this was going to be hard, but she didn't realize she would still be fighting off her own body's betrayal. She could feel his heat beside her and the scent that was distinctly him, but she couldn't give in to it. She couldn't let him see how much love she carried for him. As they pulled up to the crime scene, he stayed silent, regarding her carefully before he said her name.

"Sara," he spoke, bringing her out of her musings to turn to look at him.

She kept her eyes carefully away from his eyes, knowing that if she held his gaze for long enough her reserve would crack and she'd fall into despair again. She would never let him see how much it still hurt. So keeping her eyes focused on the scene outside she answered him quietly. "What is it, Grissom?"

Her voice was like an angel, gliding over his senses like silk. He had missed hearing her beautiful voice speak his name, even if it had only been for a day.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he told her softly. "That's the last thing I ever wanted to do."

Sara bit down on her bottom lip trying to stop the quivering that was bringing wave after wave of tears to gather in her eyes. Turning her head away from him she closed her eyes, willing herself to be strong.

"Please look at me, Sara." He asked her, his voice carrying the emotion he felt. He heard what he thought was a muffled sob coming from somewhere inside her throat as she opened the door.

"We have work to do," she told him quietly before stepping out to close the door behind her.

He watched her through the window as she walked away; her shoulders slumped in her strides. He knew she was upset, he felt it too and for the hundredth time since this nightmare began he wished he could turn back the clock. Climbing out of the car he followed her to stand by her side.

Her eyes wandered over the scene before her, wondering what she was going to do. She could either go on like this and lose herself completely or she could relent and speak to him, offer him that much, at work at least.

Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him, carefully keeping her feelings in check. "I apologise for my behaviour Grissom," she told him, searching for the right words. "We're both adults," she spoke again, trying to give justification to her words, "and people do this kind of thing all the time. We're no different."

"Sara," he pleaded again, his voice begging silently for her to listen, but she carried on speaking, letting the numbness leave her body as she let the words pour out of her

"We both needed comfort after a pretty horrific case and we sought it from each other." She turned to face him then, her eyes meeting his for the first time that night. "We took what we needed, no strings attached. I'm okay with it. I know where I stand in your life, and I'm fine with it." As she spoke she nodded her head, giving herself the explanation for his actions. It made perfect sense now; it was the only way she could handle this. This is how things had to be.

"Okay," she sighed again, giving herself a mental shake "Let's just forget it ever happened and get back to being friends." Not waiting for an answer she began to walk away from him, a sad whisper escaping her lips as she moved away, _"well that's what you wanted wasn't it."_

Grissom watched her sadly. He couldn't forget her, not when every time she was near him his body became a burning furnace, igniting him with just her presence. He knew he would pay for his stupidity heavily, having lost her again, but for now he was willing to take what she offered him. It was a start.

SIX WEEKS LATER

Things had become pretty much easier over the weeks for Sara. She and Grissom hadn't spoken of their night together again, but neither had they become any closer. The fire still burned in their eyes, sparking into a flame when their eyes met. Sara knew her feelings for him were still strong, and she loved him just as much as she had that first day. She knew he didn't want her in that way and as much as it hurt, she knew she needed to accept it and move on with her life.

The door to the locker room opened as Catherine came inside. "Hey Sara," she smiled warmly.

"Hi," she tried to keep the tiredness from her voice, but found herself yawning. Embarrassed, she quickly covered her mouth with her hand. "Excuse me."

"You know you don't look to good. Are you feeling okay?" Catherine came over to sit beside her on the bench, reaching out a hand to feel her forehead. "You're a little warm."

"I'm fine," she smiled, not knowing if she was actually convincing enough. Truth was she felt awful. Her head ached, she felt sick and she just couldn't shake off this fatigue.

"Well you know I could ask Nicky to take you home, you two seem to be spending a lot of time together lately."

Sara's head shot up and found herself trying to explain, "We're just friends Cath it's not like that. Nick is seeing someone."

"What?" Catherine gasped, "Nick's dating? Wow. When? How long?"

"I'm not telling you that," Sara grinned. "But she's really nice and he's happy."

"Wait a minute, you've met her?"

"Yep," Sara knew by the look in Catherine's eyes that she wasn't going to be let off that easily. "He brought her by my place the other night so I could meet her. That's all."

"That's all?" she asked incredulously. "Nick brings his girlfriend to meet you and you say that's all?"

"What can I say," Sara smiled, standing to her feet. "He values my opinion."

"I can see that," Catherine grinned, standing with her. She walked over to her locker to grab her jacket. "So you wanna get some breakfast or something?"

Her question surprised Sara. She and Catherine had never really been that close as to hang out together, and it was pretty surprising that she asked her now. "Yeah, okay," she found herself saying before her mind caught up with her mouth.

"Okay, I'll meet you out front in a couple of minutes then," she smiled, her eyes fixed on Sara's face which had seemed to pale. "You okay?"

Sara heard Catherine's voice, but it sounded as if she was in another room. The dizziness hit her from nowhere, buckling her legs to send her sinking to the floor.

"Jeeze," Catherine was by her side in a heartbeat. "Sara, you okay honey?"

"Cath?" Sara tried to keep the tears from her eyes as she felt the wave of nausea rise into her throat.

"I'm here," she soothed, placing a hand on Sara's head smoothing the hair away from her eyes. As she looked down at her friend now, she noticed something about her that she hadn't noticed before. Everything seemed to fit together like a puzzle. Taking a breath she looked down at her friend again. "Sara, are you pregnant?"

She heard the stifled gasp, followed by the onslaught of tears that flowed from Sara's eyes and knew she had her answer.

Catherine's arms came up to move around Sara's shaking shoulders, offering her as much comfort as she could. The sobs seemed to pour from her shuddering body as the helplessness washed over her. "It'll be okay," Catherine whispered knowing how raging hormones played havoc with the female body at times like these; hell she was awful when she was pregnant with Lindsay. Seeing Sara now reminded her of how she had felt when she first suspected she was pregnant. She remembered how scared she had been, how uncertain.

Looking around Catherine knew she needed to get Sara out of here and away from the lab. There would only be a matter of time until the guys decided they'd need to be in here. So standing up she pulled her up with her, holding onto her shoulders, giving her strength.

"Listen," she told her. "We'll go to your place, then we can talk about this."

Nodding silently, Sara's hands came up to her face, sniffing back the sobs shaking her body, trying to make the shuddering in her voice stop.

"I don't know what to do Cath."

"Hey it's okay," she smiled as she brushed a strand of hair from Sara's eyes. "Have you taken a test yet?"

Sara shook her head sadly, wiping another tear away. "I'm late and I feel sick all the time. It doesn't take a genius to work it out."

"Well you've fooled me all this time and I'm a woman. I can usually spot stuff like this," she smiled at her reassuringly. "Come on, we'll stop by a drug store and pick up a test on the way to your place."

"What?" Sara gasped hurriedly, almost choking. "What if it's positive?"

"Well at least then you'll know," Catherine told her, trying her best to convince her with her words. "Come on."

Taking a deep breath Sara wiped the palms of her hands over her face, ridding herself of the tears. She raked a hand through her hair trying to make it look somewhere near decent. She turned to Catherine, giving her face another swipe. "Do I look like shit?"

Catherine managed a small chuckle. "No honey, you're fine, now come on."

Sara opened her door, pushing it aside for them both to enter. She watched as Catherine stood in the middle of the small living room and looked around.

"Nice place," she commented.

"You can be honest Cath," Sara smiled slightly as she removed her jacket to throw it over a chair. "Nick always tells me I need more pictures."

"Nah, it's fine as it is," she grinned. Catherine watched Sara's face. Apart from the paleness, she seemed nervous and on edge, her hand moving to her head as she absentmindedly wrapped her fingers around strands of her hair.

"Sara?" she spoke softly, noticing her friend flinch at the mention of her name. She was wound up so tight she looked like she could erupt any second.

"Yeah?"

"Go do the test," Catherine told her. Witnessing the flicker of fear in Sara's eyes, she took a step closer. "Look honey, you need to know either way and then you can figure out what you're going to do." Reaching into her bag, Catherine held out the small packet to her, urging her to take it. "I'll make us some coffee while you're doing it"

Sara's eyes met hers then as she stepped forward to take the packet from her. She turned it over and over, in her hands reading the words, willing all this to be a dream which she'd wake up from any second. Slowly, she turned towards the bathroom, fear present in every step.

Catherine watched her leave and felt for her. She knew she was scared right now, and who wouldn't be? Moving into the kitchen she pulled two cups down from the rack urging the dread away. She hoped for Sara's sake that everything would work out all right.

The smell of coffee rose into her senses making her feel more alert. Breathing in the bitter smell, she walked back into the living room, placing the steaming cups on the table. Looking down at her watch, she noticed that already five minutes had passed, and still no sign of Sara. Curiosity and more than a little hope filled her as she found herself moving towards the direction Sara had gone.

"Sara?" she called. At first she couldn't hear anything, and then she heard a muffled sob coming from a closed door. "Sara?" she asked, knocking on the door. "Honey, are you okay?"

As Catherine pushed open the door, the scene before her broke her heart. There was Sara, sat on the edge of her bath turning the white piece of plastic over in her hands. The tears were pouring down her face in shaking gulps. As her eyes came up to meet hers, Catherine knew what the test had predicted, "It's positive?"

"I'm," Sara began sniffing back tears, trying to make sense of this. "I'm pregnant"

Moving into the small room, Catherine took hold of Sara's hand and pulled her into a hug. "I guess this is congratulations."

Sara clung to her, letting sobs envelope her body as all the uncertainty poured out of her. Everything seemed so dreamlike, as if this was happening to someone else, but as Catherine started to pull back from her, she knew this was real.

A few minutes later the two emerged to sit on Sara's couch in the living room. Catherine watched Sara carefully, she had grown so pale over the last few minutes, and her eyes held a haunted glaze.

"So," Catherine spoke at last, breaking the silence, "do you want anything to drink? Coffee?" her eyes moved to the table where the two still full cups stood, "Seems the last one went cold."

"Can't drink coffee," Sara spoke softly, a single tear escaping from her eyes as she waved a hand over her stomach, "not since..."

"I know Sara," Catherine smiled. "Believe me it does pass eventually." She watched the emotions wash over Sara's face, a mixture of fear, shock and worry. "It'll be okay Sara," she told her softly, "whatever you decide to do, you know we will all support your decision."

More tears appeared in Sara's eyes as she turned her face towards her friend. "What if I'm a bad mother? I haven't got a clue what to do with babies," taking a shaky breath she wiped away another tear. "What if I can't do this by myself?"

Catherine's eyes filed with tears as she leaned in to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Sara you will be a wonderful mother and you will never be in this alone. I promise you this baby will have so many people who love it. You'll never be on your own."

Sara's face crumbled at her words, more tears rolling down her face as she tried desperately to wipe them away. "God, look at me," she tried to smile bravely. "I'm a wreck."

"You're pregnant," Catherine smiled, moving a hand to squeeze her shoulder. "It's only natural." Sara seemed to relax with her words, as she sat back into the couch to stare at the ceiling.

"When are you going to tell him?" Catherine asked her carefully, watching for the reaction that would inevitably come, but there was none.

" I don't know how he'll react," Sara spoke sadly, her voice almost inaudible. "I mean this wasn't supposed to happen." Her eyes drifted down to her flat stomach, still having trouble believing this was real.

"Well you have to tell him Sara," Catherine told her. "Grissom has the right to know he's going to be a father."

Sara's eyes darted to Catherine's face, shock emanating from within them. "How?"

"I guessed," she told her. "He didn't tell me if that's what you're thinking, he wouldn't do that to you."

"Well, I did wonder sometimes," Sara's eyes left her face to drop her gaze into her hands, "you two are close."

"Honey, he loves you."

"No..." the tears came again as Sara shook her head sadly, "...he doesn't."

"Listen, Sara," Catherine spoke slowly, punctuating each word. "You have to tell him. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to tell him, and then before you know it you'll be showing and everyone will know."

"You're right," Sara sobbed quietly, "I know you are, but, how am I going to tell him? He's going to be mad at me for spoiling his perfect life and I don't know if I can survive him hurting me again."

"Well, at least then he'll know, and then so will you," Catherine pulled her into a hug. "One way or another you'll know what to expect and then you can get on with your life. Trust me, by the time this little one comes you'll be so in love with him or her, you won't care whether you're on your own or not."

Sara listened carefully to her words, knowing she was right. They gave her a strange kind of courage to do this. She was going to have to tell Grissom that he was going to be a father and that if he didn't want to be a part of the baby's life then that would be okay.

Sitting forward, she breathed in a deep cleansing breath. "I'll tell him as soon as I've seen my doctor," she said. "The test could be wrong couldn't it?"

"That's a very slim possibility, Sara," Catherine smiled." But you know yourself inside that you are carrying another life. There's something, a feeling. I don't know."

"Thank you Cath," Sara reached out to squeeze her arm. "I do know, in here," she moved a hand to her stomach, laying over the material covering where that new life grew. "I know."

The two women smiled at each other then, as Sara leaned into Catherine's shoulder and closed her eyes.

"So when is your appointment?"

"This afternoon, she managed to squeeze me in after I explained my working hours."

"That's good. The earlier the better I think."

Sara sighed heavily as she stared down into her hands. "How am I going to tell him, Cath?"

"Just be honest," Catherine smiled, resting her head against Sara's. "Tell him how you feel."

Her words brought a chuckle to Sara's lips. "Yeah this is Grissom we're talking about, remember? Mr. I back away from commitment."

"I have a feeling you'll get his attention," she grinned, glad to see that Sara wasn't crying anymore. Moving forward, Catherine pulled herself to the edge of the couch. "I should be getting home."

"Okay," Sara smiled. "I should sleep I guess."

"Yeah, you have to take care of yourself and that baby," she smiled. "Do you want me to come with you this afternoon? You know, bit of moral support?"

"Would you?" The smile that beamed from Sara's face was enough to convince her that she was beginning to accept this. "It's at 2 o'clock."

"Of course I will, we'll stop off to grab a bite afterwards and that'll give us enough time to talk if you need to before we start shift."

"That sounds great," Sara was smiling now, at last feeling the depression lift from her shoulders. "Thank you for all of this Cath, I didn't know what to do."

"Hey anytime," she smiled. "I'll come by and pick you up, we'll go in my car." She moved towards the door, taking one last look back before she stepped outside. "Get some rest."

"I will," Sara smiled, the first real smile for days "See you later."

"Later," Catherine called back as she closed the door.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi all. Thank you again for all of your reviews and PM's, you guys are so nice to me. I'm still not fond of this story, and I warn you now this is fluff with a capital F. Don't say I didn't warn you! I hope I got the sonogram spelling right. Over here in the UK it's called an ultra sound or a scan.**

**I've started working on 'When all is said and done' again, so hopefully I'll have a chapter ready by weekend.**

**All mistakes in this are my own**

3

"Sara Sidle," a nurse called as she poked her head out of a doorway. Sara looked at Catherine and stood up.

"Wish me luck," she sighed heavily, trying to stop her whole body from shaking.

"Good luck," Catherine smiled brightly. She couldn't help thinking that anyone would think Sara was going towards her own funeral by the way she was walking. Her eyes stayed on her until she disappeared into the room then turned her eyes back to her magazine.

After ten minutes, the door opened again as Sara came out. Her jacket was draped over her arm as she held books and papers in her hands and seemed a lot brighter now than when she'd entered.

"Hey," Catherine smiled as she put the magazine down and stood up. "How'd it go?"

"Seven weeks," she smiled brightly, "but they'll know more accurately when I have my sonogram."

"Well you seem perky," She found herself grinning widely; this was certainly a different Sara than the one of this morning. "Who are you and what have you done with my friend?" Catherine laughed as they walked towards the doors to the car park.

"Ha ha very funny," Sara smiled as she breathed out a contented sigh. She felt really good, better than she'd felt in weeks. "Wow, this is really happening."

Catherine couldn't keep the smile from her face. Sara's happiness was contagious and she found herself laughing excitedly at the prospect of becoming an aunt. "Yep it sure is."

When they reached Catherine's car, Sara's eyes were drawn down to the literature that she held in her hand before Catherine unlocked the doors. Sara's eyes were drawn instantly to the booklet that the doctor had given her, her eyes scanning the pages until she turned to the birth page.

"Oh great," she muttered, lifting the book closer for a better look. "Oh god, that's gonna be me doing that."

"It sure is," Catherine couldn't keep the huge grin off of her face.

"Hey this isn't funny I'm gonna be having my legs twisted in positions that they have no right to be in… and…" she closed the book quickly. " I would rather not think of that other thing."

"The birth?"

"Yeah that birth thing," Sara couldn't help the small flutter of giggles that escaped her throat as both she and Catherine burst into fits of laughter, before Catherine started the car and drove them away.

Their mood was still light when they arrived into work that evening. Both of them smiling at something Sara had said.

"You are so bad Sara. I'm impressed," Catherine laughed as they pushed open the door.

"ME?" she asked indignantly, the laughter escaping into her voice, "you're the one who told him to bend down."

"Yeah and you were looking," Catherine retorted with a smile. She was enjoying her time with Sara. They had just had a great two hours looking around the mall and stopped off to have something to eat when Catherine decided to drop her fork in front of a very handsome waiter just to have him pick it up and promise to bring her a new one.

"Hey it's a free country," Sara grinned.

"Not when the poor man was practically undressed by your eyes," came the quick retort, bringing with it another burst of laughter.

Sara's grinning carried on into the break room, the smile on her face bringing a bright sparkle to her brown eyes.

"Hey what's so funny?" Warrick asked her from where he was sitting at the small table. His eyes looked from Sara to Catherine, as the pair of them seemed to be trying to hide another onslaught of giggling.

"Nothing," Catherine grinned, "just that our Sara here almost made a poor man decapitate himself when she wouldn't stop staring at him."

"I so did not," she protested, grinning in mock horror at Warrick's stunned face. "It was Catherine. She dropped her fork on purpose."

Warrick's face lit up with a smile. He couldn't remember seeing Sara this happy in a very long time. It was good to see that the haunted look had disappeared from her eyes. His pager beeped by the side of his hand and he moved to pick it up quickly. "Hey, you girls have fun. I gotta go."

"See you later," Sara smiled, her eyes following Warrick as he left. She let the smile linger, feeling the warm buzz in her heart radiate towards her eyes, until she saw Grissom walking down the corridor. Her eyes darted back to Catherine, the smile falling from her face, leaving the laughter of only a few moments ago to die as quickly as it had come.

"Hey, it'll be okay," Catherine told her with a smile. "Just remember you have friends who love you."

Grissom came into the break room, eyeing both women cautiously. They were seated now. Catherine was flicking through a magazine and Sara was sat motionless as she stared down at her hands.

"Where are Warrick and Nick?"

"I'm here," Nick spoke, coming into the room to flop down on the couch next to Sara.

She turned to him when he smiled at her. "Hey Nick."

"Hey yourself," he grinned, his eyes gazing over her face. "You look different. Is that new lipstick?"

Sara looked at him adoringly, a smile lighting up her face. "You know, if I didn't know better I'd swear you had been going through my drawers."

Catherine snorted behind her magazine, letting the pages shake as she began to laugh at Sara's choice of words. Sara was confused for a second until she realized what she had said. "No...I'll rephrase that."

"Don't bother sweetie," Nick grinned, " I knew what you meant."

Grissom was watching this display with a mixture of interest and regret. True he and Sara had buried the hatchet, so to speak, but he missed the closeness he used to share with her. He missed the sparkle that came to her eyes when she had an idea, but most of all he missed her.

"Hey, sorry I'm late." Warrick came rushing into the room flapping a paper in his hands. "Just got my DNA results back from Greg."

"Well as we're all here," Grissom said as his eyes lingered on the assignments slips in his hands. "We have two cases tonight. Catherine I want you and Warrick to handle an apparent suicide." He handed the slip to Catherine before turning to Nick. "I need you to stay here and run those tests from the Harvey's case, see if you can come up with anything new."

"Sure, Okay," Nick nodded.

"What about me?" Sara asked softly, her eyes coming up to meet his.

"You and me are taking a boat ride."

"Great," she said as she met Catherine's eyes, the other woman gave her a small smile of reassurance before she headed out of the door with Warrick.

0000000000000000

Sara watched the tree's flying passed as they drove along the deserted road, her mind screaming a thousand different questions at her, making her head ache.

"Are you okay, Sara?" Grissom asked, breaking the silence. He needed to hear her voice more than he realized. He needed to feel some of the closeness they once shared before he had shattered her trust in him once and for all. "I know I probably don't deserve it, but would you please talk to me?"

"Hmm?" she asked, turning to him questioningly. She watched him for a moment, a blank expression in her eyes. "Sorry Grissom, I was miles away."

"You always seem to be lately," he sighed.

Sara watched his face sadly. She knew he was hurting, she could see it in his eyes, and part of her wanted to reach out and ease that pain. She wanted to love him the way she needed to love him. She wanted him to love her and be able to commit to her freely, but not just for one night but for a lifetime. There were so many things she wanted but she knew he would run away just as he always did. Now though, knowing that she carried his child she wanted to have that faith in him again. More than anything she wanted to believe.

"I'm sorry," she told him softly, turning her eyes to watch him as he concentrated on the road. "I wish I could give you more right now, but I just…"

"I know," he told her. "I hurt you and I promised I'd never do that to you again."

"Grissom..."

"We're here," he told her, ignoring her pleading voice as he stopped the car. Turning to face her he knew that his eyes were telling her that this was work and not time for personal issues, even thought he wanted to talk to her.

She watched him open the door and step out, waiting until he had moved away before she let out the shaky breath she had no idea she was holding. Her eyes loomed down towards her stomach as she ran a hand over it protectively. Sighing heavily, she climbed out of the car.

Grissom turned to her as she came to step beside him, "What have we got?" she asked him, her eyes scanning the small boat that bobbed around on the lake a few feet away.

"Well, we are going to go out to that boat over there," he told her, pointing his fingers towards the middle of the lake.

"I see," she nodded, "and how do you propose we do that?" Her eyes looked around her searching for another boat, a raft anything that could help them across.

"We're going to pull it in," he told her. "See the ropes?" Sara followed his gaze and saw the bloodied rope tied to one of the mooring posts "One of us has to go into the water and pull from the bank side."

Her eyes met his again, at once realizing when he had said 'one of us' he meant her. Shaking her head, she took a step back "I can't go into that freezing water Grissom." Her heart thudded in her chest, what was she supposed to tell him? Sorry I can't and by the way I'm having your baby?

He opened his mouth to speak when the coroners arrived, pulling to a stop at the side of Grissom's Tahoe.

"Are you telling me you won't go in there?" he asked her again, with what she saw as anger growing in his eyes. "Give me one good reason."

Her heart thudded in her chest, the explanation bubbling on her lips "I'm…" she stopped. " I just can't okay?"

Grissom looked over towards the coroner and walked away from her in anger. He trudged down to the edge of the water and began to pull on the underside of the rope, receiving help from another officer.

He didn't look her way again, his anger apparent to everyone around them. Sara felt her eyes begin to fill with tears again as he looked towards her then looked abruptly away again. She watched him for a long time; then moved back to the other evidence on the ground and began bagging it. She couldn't keep this to herself she knew that now. He had to know before he lost all respect for her work and for her. Wiping a tear away with the back of her hand, she didn't hear him approaching to stand beside her.

"You were right," he told her. "The water was freezing. You'd have got hypothermia within minutes."

Sara's hands stilled as he spoke, feeling more tears start to roll down her face as she frantically tried to wipe them away before he could see them.

"Sara?" he asked again as he crouched down beside her. He noticed her tears instantly, his blue eyes deepening in concern. He'd managed to make her cry, yet again. "Sara, I'm sorry. I'm such an ass."

Reaching up one of her hands to wipe the tears away, she plucked up all of her courage to look at him. "No it's not that."

"Then what is it?" he asked her, desperate to reach out a hand to touch her but was afraid he'd overstep the boundaries she'd erected between them.

"I need to talk to you," she told him, sniffing back more tears.

"What's the matter?" he asked again, concern embedded in his eyes. "Sara?"

"Not here," she told him as she stood to her feet. "Are we finished here?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I have the rope and clothes from the vic. The boat is being shipped to the lab and you have whatever evidence you've collected."

"Can we go now?" she asked him softly, willing him to say yes. He watched her curiously for a few moments before nodding his head in acknowledgement.

He helped her pick up her bags and walked with her back to the car. As soon as he closed the doors, he looked over at her silent face. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

She turned to him then, her eyes betraying the apprehension in them and he found himself draw in a breath as he waited for her to speak.

Sara felt her heart beating in her chest, the thumping so loud she was sure he could hear it. She could feel his eyes on her face, searching desperately for some answers, anything to understand what was going on inside her head.

"I do need to talk to you," she told him quietly as her eyes left his face, "but I'm not sure if this is the right time or place."

"Sara just tell me," he pleaded. "Please."

She was quiet for a long moment, running the speech she had prepared over and over in her head until she took a deep breath and turned to him. "I…" she met his eyes feeling the tears gather in her own. "I'm pregnant."

She watched his face as the truth started to sink into him as he tried to comprehend what she had just told him. The word pregnant seemed to scream at him loudly over and over getting so loud he had to close his eyes.

His silence scared her more than she ever thought it would. He hadn't said a word or shown any kind of emotion to at least hint to her how he felt, and she found herself rambling.

"I know you didn't ask for this, and if you don't want to be a part of this baby then I'll understand."

She turned her eyes away from his face as she felt the tears hiding behind her lashes start to roll down her face with unstoppable waves.

"I'm sorry," she whispered sadly as she shifted in her seat to turn away from him. Her eyes looked out into the darkness surrounding them. The rain that had started to drip onto the windows mesmerized her, as she brought a hand to her mouth to try and stop the shaking sobs leaving her body. His silence was deafening leading her to believe that he wasn't happy about this turn of events and even though she knew this had been a possibility, it still hurt that he didn't want this child.

Grissom felt numb, he was going to be a father? This was something he never thought he would ever experience in his lifetime and the thought scared him half to death. His heart was beating so loudly that he could barely hear her muffled sobs as she sat in her seat as far away from him as she possibly could. He wanted to speak but no words would come out of his mouth so instead he stayed silent, his eyes glowing with this sudden knowledge.

In her seat, Sara needed to put some space between them. She thought she could handle this. She thought she was strong enough, but to be rejected a third time? Her hand suddenly found the door release and she opened it quickly to jump out into the rain that was pouring heavy raindrops onto her body, soaking her instantly.

Her hands travelled down to her stomach, holding them over her now wet jeans protectively. Sorrow followed again as she let the rain mingle in with her tears as sob after sob wracked her body, sinking her to her knees onto the muddy ground. She felt so hopeless. She needed him, she knew that now more than ever but it hurt so badly.

Grissom watched her in shock, his whole body starting to shake as he saw her sink to her knees. The words that had been screaming inside his head seemed to jolt him into action as he found himself opening the car door to join her in the rain. The downpour bombarded his body, washing away any uncertainty he may have felt in his heart. He moved swiftly, his feet sliding on the muddy ground until he came to drop beside her on his knees.

"Sara?" he spoke then, reaching out to touch her arm. "Sara," he said again, this time moving a hand to her chin to raise her face.

She had her eyes closed to him when he raised her chin. With something between a sob and a gasp he leant forward to wrap his arms around her shaking body, holding her against the rain as she sobbed against him.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered into his chest. "I know you didn't ask for this."

"Sara—"

She pulled away from him and opened her eyes to look into his, "I want this baby."

More tears followed as she tried to pull herself from his arms, but he held her firmly against him, pulling her to his chest. "Will you be quiet for one minute so I can say something?" he told her as his hands came up to cradle her face. His words stopped her quiet struggle as she opened her eyes to stare into his deep blue gaze.

"I am going to be a father?" he asked her in wonder, a hint of a smile in his eyes as he watched her carefully. This new knowledge lightened his heart in more ways than he could ever have imagined before and he found himself standing up, pulling her with him.

Sara didn't know what to say anymore. She felt his arms tighten around her waist as he pulled her to him in a fierce embrace, his whole body shaking along with hers. He shocked her even more when he suddenly pulled her head up to gaze into her eyes, a smile dancing across his face. Then before she knew what was happening his lips were on hers, kissing her with a passion she had never felt from him before.

Her arms left his sides to glide up his shoulders to tangle her hands in his hair, pulling him closer to her, taking his breath from his body as she sank into his lips. She felt his arms encase her body pulling her to him as he deepened their kiss, opening his mouth to draw her inside. Sara thought she was going to melt in his arms with the sheer force of his adoration.

Breaking the kiss he left her lips, panting heavily as he held his forehead to hers. "I'm going to be a father," he told her, bringing her into his arms again as he lifted her off her feet to spin her around only to replace her on the ground again.

Sara couldn't believe this was happening. She wanted to believe this was all true and not just a dream, so she pulled his face down to hers for another earth shattering kiss, igniting him with her passion before letting him go, reluctantly pulling away from his arms to hold onto his hands.

"Come on," he told her, pulling her towards the car, "you're wet."

"So are you," she smiled.

"I am not the one who's pregnant," he told her before putting her into the car and closing the door. He ran around the other side sliding his feet against the sloppy mud that was sludge at his feet before opening the door to climb in.

Sara smiled at him as he wiped the rain from his hair, his happiness lingering in his eyes as he leaned over the seat to kiss her lips.

"Come on," he smiled. "We'll swing by the lab and drop off these bags and then I'll take you home. I think we have a lot to talk about."

As he spoke his eyes travelled down to her stomach, and then his hands followed the same path as he laid a warm hand over her abdomen before bringing his eyes back up to hers.

"Yeah we do," she smiled bringing her own hand down to lay it over his. The smile he gave her was enough to convince her that all of this was real and true. He was happy and that thought was enough to keep the happiness burning in her eyes.

Pulling his hand away from hers, he turned the key in the ignition to start the car, a huge smile dancing on his lips. They were going to be okay he mused happily as they drove away.

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Sara let the water from the shower run over her tired body. She still couldn't believe that she had been able to confess to Grissom that he was the father on their child, and that he was happy. She smiled under the spray as it hit her face; he was actually ecstatic at the prospect of this turn of events. His reaction had shocked her completely. She had hoped he would be happy, and indeed she had been rewarded with a heart-stopping kiss that transformed her world upside down again, but she couldn't shake the quiet fear hiding inside her heart. What if he changed his mind and ran away again? She didn't think she could handle his rejection again.

She let her hands glide down her body to rest over her stomach protectively, feeling a strange mixture of love and the fierce need to keep this tiny life growing inside of her safe. Here she was just barely pregnant but she loved this baby already with the strongest love she had ever known. Closing her eyes against the tears starting to pool in her eyes, she leaned forward again to turn off the water before stepping out of the shower to reach for a huge white towel to wrap around her body.

As she walked out into the hallway, her eyes drifted to the full-length mirror in the corner of her bedroom. Walking towards it she looked at her reflection, her eyes skimming over her pale body to the flatness of her stomach. She found herself smiling again, as she swallowed the lump in her throat to stop any tears from falling. She was going to be a mother.

Turning she looked down at the side view, disappointed that there was no hint of a bump there. She let her hands fall away to her sides imagining what she would be like in a few months time.

A knock on her door startled her out of her musings as she pulled the towel tighter around her body.

"Just a minute," she called, "Who is it?"

"It's me," Grissom shouted through the hard wood door.

Sara looked down at herself clad in the white robe before she pulled back the lock to let him in.

Grissom stared at her for a long moment as she stood before him. Her hair was still wet and he felt his mouth grew dry. "Uh… I," he gulped again. "I thought you'd be ready."

"Well if you come in then I _can_ get ready," she smiled warmly delighted by the blush that appeared on his face when he realized he was still stood in the open door way.

"Oh sorry," he grinned as he stepped inside closing the door behind him.

Sara had disappeared into the bedroom,keeping the door slightly ajar so she could still talk to him. "So what did you tell Greg when he asked how you got so muddy?"

He found himself smiling again as he remembered Greg's face.

"Oh he thought we'd had a fight."

"A fight?" she called out in a muffled reply.

Grissom's mind wandered back to the conversation in the lab.

"_Hey what happened to you?" Greg had asked._

"_Doesn't matter Greg. I need these back as soon as possible."_

"_Hey where's Sara?" he grinned, "you two have a mud wrestle or something coz you're covered in it from your knees."_

_Grissom had followed his eyes down to the bottom half of his legs to see mud caked in obvious display to where he had been positioned on his knees._

"_Look," he'd replied quickly to hide his obvious embarrassment. "Just get these done please."_

"Grissom?" she called again, as she came out of the door now wearing a black shirt and jeans. "Hey, you awake?"

"Huh?" he mumbled as he quickly looked up into her face. As soon as he saw her he was lost. She seemed to glow from her head right the way down her body to her toes. He found himself walking towards her needing to feel her closeness again.

Sara smiled at him widely as he came closer wanting nothing more than to hold him, but as he approached she took hold of his hands.

"Sara?" he asked her on a sigh his eyes searching hers.

"I need to ask you something," she told him as she reached out to take his other hand before leading him over to her couch to sit down.

Grissom sat watching her quietly as she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She raised her eyes to his again. "Are you happy?"

"Happy?" he asked with a smile. "Honey, I'm so much more than happy right now."

"Do you…" she stopped, took a breath and asked again. "I need to know that you won't leave again," she told him, "because I can't cope with your rejection again, not now."

She pulled her hands from his distancing herself from him to move away as tears began to gather in her eyes, "I let you hurt me, twice. I won't let you do it again. So if you aren't planning on staying around this time will you please tell me now before I totally make a complete fool of myself in front of you and cry again?"

Grissom gazed up at her, regret peeling away at the defences. He moved to take her hands in his. "Sara, I know I hurt you... I know I hurt you more than once."

"I need to know that you won't do it again," she moved a hand to thread through his fingers as the tears started to trickle from her lashes. "I can't let you do this to me again, not to let you in and have you leave me. I can't do that anymore Grissom...I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear right now but I need to know."

"Listen," he told her solemnly. "I have been a fool," he moved a hand from hers to rest on her stomach. "I almost lost you both, and I have never been so scared in my life."

"Grissom…"

"No," he told her, his eyes dropping to where his hand lay. "I need to say this now."

He stood then, moving closer to her so they were almost touching. "I love you Sara Sidle. I have always loved you." Sara opened her mouth to speak but he silenced her with a finger to her lips. "I didn't realize just how much until I almost lost you."

Sara's eyes locked with his again, as she felt her heart crack open to let him in. "I love you, so much, but I swear to you if you hurt me again—"

"I won't," he whispered before capturing her lips in a gentle kiss, sealing his promise forever.

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Grissom pulled the car up to park outside of the lab before turning his head to smile at the woman beside him. He was still amazed at the prospect of becoming a father and the feelings that burst inside him were a mixture of love and pride for not only his unborn child but for Sara too.

"You know," she smiled across at his, "I won't disappear if you blink."

"I know," he grinned happily "but what can I say? You are amazing."

"I'm pregnant, Gil," she told him as she reached over for his hand giving it a gentle squeeze. "Women do this kind of thing all the time."

"Ah, but not with me they don't." The smile spread wider across his face as he watched her expression change to one of amusement, a smile matching his own appearing on her lips.

"Well I should hope not or you'd have some pretty big explaining to do, mister!"

"I know," he chuckled softly.

"Come on," she told him as she opened her door. "We've still got work to do."

He watched her climb out of the car, a contented smile playing on his face before he opened his door to join her.

"So?" he asked before they walked towards the doors, his arm itching to slide across her shoulders. "Does anyone else know?"

"Yeah, Catherine does," she smiled up at him as the shock registered in his eyes. She leaned close to his ear before whispering. "Seems we both tell Catherine things first don't we?"

"I deserved that," he nodded before they walked through into the lab. "You and me are going to have a long talk later."

She smiled up at him again suddenly deliriously happy.

"And you have got to stop doing that," he told her, his eyes lingering on hers for a moment longer than he should.

"What? I'm only looking at you," she told him innocently. "What's wrong with that?"

"I know that look," he told her as he leaned closer to her ear, "and it always means trouble."

Sara surprised him again by breaking out into a huge smile as they walked along the corridor towards Greg's lab, their shoulders bumping together occasionally as they walked.

"Hey guys," Warrick grinned as he walked passed them in the corridor.

"Hi Warrick," Sara beamed, her smile stopping him in his tracks. She looked from him to Grissom before letting the smile fall from her face. "What?" she asked confused as she started to look down at herself, "have I got mud on my face or something?"

Warrick shook himself mentally, he couldn't quite put his finger on it but there was something about her. "You look different."

"I do?" she asked again, her eyes shifting towards Grissom worriedly, had he said something?

"Yeah," Warrick spoke again, "you look really nice Sara."

She could feel her face start to grow hot under his gaze as she found her eyes meeting Grissom's again.

"Uh, thanks War," she began walking again, her eyes looking behind her at Warricks retreating form.

"Do you think he knows?" she whispered to Grissom worriedly.

"No I don't think so, why? Don't you want him and Nick to know?" Grissom followed her gaze then returned his eyes back towards her face.

"Of course I do, but I want us to tell them both together. I don't want Nick to think he was the last to know. I love him too much to let him think that," she took in a shuddered gasp as she realized what she had just said. "You know he's like a brother to me don't you?"

"Of course I do," he smiled down at her before taking a quick look up and down the corridor to make sure no one was looking, and then moved a hand to her face to caress her cheek softly.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear, loving the shaky breaths she was taking at his touch. He drew away from her quickly, dropping his hand and began to walk again.

Sara stood there watching him, rooted to the ground as he walked away, a smile dancing on her lips. She couldn't believe he had just done that here, in full view of anyone that wished to look. Shaking herself mentally, she started to follow him again, knowing that soon she would give herself away by all this constant smiling.

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Later that night, Sara walked into the locker room to pull out her jacket when the door swung open.

"Hey," Catherine grinned before coming to sit on the bench beside her. "Well?"

"Well what?" Sara smiled meeting her eyes.

"Well, I'd say by the sparkle in Gil's eyes that you told him your news and he's a very happy man right now."

Sara found herself smiling again, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "It's so great Catherine," she beamed. "He was so happy and he kinda shocked me there for a while."

"Well it's not every day you learn you're gonna become a parent, honey," she smiled as she reached out to lay a hand on Sara's arm. "Take it from me, I've known him a long time and he is definitely happy."

"I know," she smiled again, leaning into Catherine's shoulder letting her receive the warmth and friendship she offered.

The door opened again to reveal Nick and Warrick, their eyes instantly turning towards the two women sat on the bench.

"Hey," Nick grinned at them before he pulled open his locker door "you girls up for some breakfast?"

"I guess so," Catherine grinned as she and Sara both moved to stand. She looked over at her friend knowing that the sickness still bothered her "What you say Sara? Are you hungry?"

She was about to reply when Grissom came into the room too, " Here you all are," he told them as his eyes found Sara through the small seas of bodies.

"Gil Grissom," Catherine smiled, her eyes leaving Sara's to look over at him. "I do believe you are smiling."

Warrick and Nick both turned towards him.

"Hey, she's right," Warrick agreed suspiciously. "You are smiling."

"Something you want to tell us Grissom?" Nick joined in, knowing that something was obviously happening here.

"Uh, well it isn't uncommon for me to smile occasionally," he told them indignantly.

"Yeah but you've been doing it a lot today and come to think of it so have you Sara," Nick turned his eyes towards her, delighted in seeing her squirm beneath his gaze.

"Me?" she gasped "I um..."

"Look, it's not as if you two can hide that you've finally got a clue," Warrick told them. "I think it's great and it's about damn time."

"What?" Both Grissom and Sara said together, their eyes joining in shock before they dragged their eyes away.

"I think you two are great together," Nick grinned as he came towards Sara and planted a kiss on her cheek, leaning into her ear he whispered, "and it doesn't help when you call his name in your sleep."

"I do not," she whispered back, shock in her eyes. She watched his face as a huge grin spread across his face. "Hey, come on sweetie, it's not like you can keep secrets from me you know."

"Oh I wouldn't agree with you on that," she told him, enjoying the shock in his eyes. "So are we going to get some breakfast or what?"

She moved away from him towards Grissom, pulling lightly on his hand taking him towards the door. "I want us to tell them," she whispered.

Grissom looked down into her eyes, smiling with pride at this remarkable woman. He leaned into her ear, letting his breath catch in his throat at their closeness. "Away from here," he told her "then we'll tell them."

"Breakfast?" Sara spoke up then, moving towards the door with Grissom in tow, leaving the two men looking at each other speechless.

"Well come on you two," Catherine grinned, as she linked her arms in between theirs. "I have a feeling this is going to make your day."

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The five friends sat in the small diner around one of the tables. Sara sat near the outer edge as she fought off the queasiness in her stomach. She had felt perfectly fine all this time until the smell of coffee hit her senses and instantly caused the nausea to rise into her throat.

Standing up quickly she looked around the table to the worried faces of her friends, feeling the nausea invading her mind of all conscious thought as she quickly turned towards the washroom with her hand over her mouth.

"What's up with her?" Warrick asked worriedly, his eyes following the path she had taken.

"Oh, it's just the coffee," Catherine said as she put her cup to her lips, instantly feeling all eyes on her as she suddenly realized she had let slip a secret.

"Since when has coffee made her sick?" Nick asked her until the realization began to dawn in his eyes "Oh…" he gasped, turning towards Grissom. "Is she…Are you..."

"What?" Warrick asked with a grin. "Course she isn't, we'd know, come on this is Sara."

Nick's eyes searched Grissom's face. He remembered a few weeks ago when she almost fainted into his arms and the fact she seemed so tired and the frequent outburst of tears. A huge smile began to creep over his face. "She is isn't she?"

Sara came out of the washroom again, looking pale as she came to sit in her seat again. She noticed all eyes on her as she rubbed her face, "What?"

Nick's smile almost blinded her as he moved over to wrap his arms around her. "When were you going to tell us?"

"I…" she pulled herself out of his arms her eyes darting to Grissom, begging him to help her, but she could see the smile twinkling in his eyes and knew he was enjoying this. Pulling away so she could look into Nick's eyes she felt a smile creep over her face. "I only found out a few days ago, and Grissom has only known since yesterday."

"Oh Sara," he beamed as he pulled her into his arms again, rocking her back and forth, "this is so great."

"Nick, can you stop doing that?" she gasped pulling away from him, swallowing hard. "I'm getting sea sick."

"Oh, sweetie I'm sorry," he grinned, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "I'm so proud of you."

Sara felt her eyes sting with tears at his words, her eyes meeting Grissom's happy face to turn back to Nick again. "Don't make me cry Nick, you know I can't stop once I start." She tried to smile but already felt the lump rising in her throat as she fought the tears.

Nick grinned over at Grissom, leaning over to slap his arm. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Grissom smiled, his eyes moving over to Sara who was trying so hard not to cry.

"Hey man," Warrick grinned, pulling Catherine into a hug before shaking Grissom's hand, then getting up to move around the table to pull Sara to her feet, encasing her in his arms. "This is so great and like Nick said, I'm damn proud of you." He pulled back to kiss her cheek, the smile on his face lighting up his eyes.

"Oh god now look what you've done," Sara sniffed as a tear rolled down her cheek, "I'm crying."

tbc... see I told you it was sappy!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Huge thanks to TDCSI who volunteered to read this pile of fluff. There's probably another 1 or 2 chapters to go, but I warn you, have the sick bucket ready because this is really, really sappy.**

**Thank you once again for all of your reviews and PM's. I really do appreciate every review and I'm sorry if I've missed anyone out when I've been replying.**

**For those of you who asked, 'When all is said and done' chapter 4 will be ready soon.**

**4**

A few weeks later, Sara stood in front of her mirror looking down at her slightly rounded stomach. Everything had been going well. The baby was developing normally and the bouts of morning sickness had started to wear off. Turning sideways she looked down at her belly with a smile. It wasn't blatantly obvious yet that she was pregnant but she had started to have trouble finding clothes that actually fit her.

Pulling on her favourite black jeans she pulled them up over her stomach. Out of all of her clothes these were the only things that fit her properly, even if they had become a little snug. She'd promised herself that as soon as she outgrew them that it was time to face facts that she needed to buy maternity clothes. With a heavy sigh she pulled up the zipper but could only manage to pull it up half way and no matter how much she tried, she couldn't seem to make the material meet.

"Oh crap," she groaned miserably.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Grissom asked from the doorway, smiling in amazement at how much he adored this woman.

She turned around to face him, her hands in the air in exasperation. "Look at me. These fit me just two days ago. Now I can't even fit into them."

"Sweetheart you look beautiful," he said as he came into the room carrying a bag. "I know you don't think you do."

"I just want to put on some clothes and be able to sit down without having to breathe in or ask the baby to scrunch up," she felt tears rising in her throat again angrily swiped a hand over her eyes, "stupid hormones."

"Catherine sent these over," he handed her the bag and quickly rested a hand on her shoulder. "She thought you might be able to use them until we go out and buy you some new clothes."

Reaching into the bag, Sara pulled out a pair of jeans and held them up in front of her. She could feel the burning in her throat as she shoved them back into the bag.

"Oh god," she sniffed again. "I'm gonna be huge and you won't want me anymore."

"Hey," he scolded as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "I will always want you, and for your information I happen to think you are incredibly beautiful."

Sara leaned into his shoulders, letting tears soak into his shirt. She knew he loved her but her hormones were wreaking havoc with her emotions, making her cry at the slightest thing.

"Come on," he smiled as he placed a kiss into her hair, "we have to get ready if we're going to make the hospital in time."

"Okay," she sighed, leaning in to kiss his chest before she moved away to look into the bag again. Reaching inside she pulled out the jeans that she'd only moments ago shoved inside.

Grissom smiled at her warmly before he moved towards the door, "I'll go and get the car."

"Alright, I'll be out in a minute."

A few minutes later Sara came out of her apartment looking a lot happier than she had a few minutes ago. Grissom smiled at her as she climbed into the car and pulled on her seatbelt. "You okay?"

"Yep," she grinned as she looked down over her jean covered stomach, "at least I can breathe in these things."

"I'm sure the baby appreciates it," he told her with a smile.

"I know I do," she chuckled.

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Hospitals always made Sara nervous. She fiddled with her hands as she anxiously waited for one of the midwives to call her name. She didn't even know why she was so nervous. She'd read the pregnancy book from cover to cover, taken notes and made a list of questions she wanted to ask, but now she felt out of control and she didn't know what to expect.

"Are you okay, honey?" Grissom asked from where he was seated beside her. Reaching over he laid his hand over hers to keep them still.

"I'm fine," she sighed as she leaned her head into his shoulder. "I just wish they would hurry up already. I really need to pee right now."

He let out a small chuckle before placing a gentle kiss in her hair, "When they said drink plenty of fluid maybe you drank a little too much."

"Yeah, it sure as hell feels like it," she groused miserably.

"Sara Sidle," a nurse called from one of the rooms opposite as she looked over the many mothers to be.

Sara's heart leapt into her throat and she turned to offer Grissom a shaky smile before standing up. Grissom grabbed her jacket and draped it over his arm as he steered her towards the midwife with his other hand resting gently in the small of her back.

She smiled at both Sara and Grissom as they came towards her before leading them into the darkened room. "So how are you feeling today, Sara?"

"I'm okay," she nodded.

"I know this can be a little daunting at first, but as soon as you see your baby I can guarantee that everything will be different."

"Thanks," Sara smiled. "I'm a little nervous actually."

"Don't worry, first time parents usually are."

Grissom didn't really know what to say. For the first time in his life he could feel the growing excitement in the pit of his stomach as the two women before him exchanged meaningless pleasantries. All he really wanted to do was look at the small screen and see the life that he and Sara had created together, but he decided to keep quiet as Sara glanced across at him nervously.

"Okay Sara can you lay on the bed and unbutton your jeans for me?" she smiled as she walked towards the door to close it, blocking out the light.

Sara's eyes met with Grissom's again briefly when she sat atop the small bed before easing herself down to lie down and did as the midwife asked. Grissom came and sat beside her, automatically reaching for her hand when the midwife came back to tuck a sheet of paper towel over the waistband of Sara's jeans, then moved her shirt up to just below her breasts. "This is just to stop the jelly going all over your clothes," she told her with a smile.

"Oh, okay," she nodded nervously. "Sorry, I've never done this before."

"Hey don't worry," she smiled. "You're certainly not the first set of parents I've had in here."

"Well, we're both a little nervous," Grissom told her as he brought a hand up to caress Sara's shoulder.

"Well that's natural," clicking off the light she switched on the monitor in front of her before squirting liquid jelly over Sara's slightly swollen abdomen "Okay, let's see what we have."

She turned the monitor towards them as she brought the scanner over Sara's stomach, pushing it into her soft flesh. She pressed buttons and took measurements while she pointed to the grainy shape on the screen.

"Okay," she pushed the scanner further over, "there's an arm."

Sara gasped in awe, her eyes filling with tears. The image on the screen suddenly became a baby and not like anything she could have imagined. Grissom too was transfixed with his eyes on the screen, his hand squeezing her shoulder. He glanced from the screen to Sara and then back again. He couldn't think of a single thing that had ever been more beautiful that the woman who he was sharing this with.

"Two legs," the midwife continued, "and there's the other arm." She ran the scanner further into Sara's stomach showing a perfect tiny spine before checking the baby's heart. "Everything is fine," she smiled, "your pregnancy is progressing very well. I'm just going to take some measurements and then if you want we can try and see the baby's sex if you want to know."

Grissom and Sara exchanged glances, both deciding early on that they wanted to know to prepare themselves. Grissom smiled across at her. "Yes we'd like that."

"Okay then," she clicked some buttons on the machine in front of her. "By these measurements you are 17 weeks and 3 days, so that puts the date of delivery for 2nd September." The midwife continued to press more buttons then turned to smile at them, "Are you sure you want to know the sex?"

"Yes please," Sara smiled.

Pushing the scanner further over Sara's stomach she began pushing with her hand to make the baby move "Come on baby," she spoke softly, more to herself than to them. "Mommy and daddy want to see you."

Grissom felt his heart burst at that moment; he hadn't realized how the word 'daddy' would melt his heart as much as it had.

Sara reached up to squeeze his hand on her shoulder, not daring to take her eyes off of the screen. She didn't want to miss a single second of this scene.

The midwife smiled, "You have a little girl here."

"A girl?" Grissom gasped with a smile even as his hands linked with Sara's to give her fingers a gentle squeeze.

"Yes, most definitely a girl," she smiled again. "Would you like a copy of your sonogram pictures?"

"Oh yeah," Sara beamed as she looked up into Grissom's eyes. "We're having a baby."

"We are," he chuckled softly.

The midwife grinned at them as she turned off the monitor and clicked on the light again then pulled the paper towel over Sara's stomach to wipe off the jelly

"Here you go," she said as she handed Grissom a set of printouts from Sara's sonogram. "If you go to the front desk, they'll arrange another appointment for when you reach 32 weeks."

"Thank you," Grissom told her with a smile.

Sara tore her eyes from the black and white pictures in her hand to look up at the midwife before she walked out of the door. "Yes, thank you."

Grissom ushered Sara out of the door as he held out her jacket for her. They left the darkened room to return to the waiting room, both of them elated with this new turn of events.

00000000000000000

"I'm so tired," Sara yawned as they came through her apartment door, "do you mind if I grab the shower first?"

Grissom smiled at her, his eyes sparkling with the deepest love he had ever known. "Of course I don't mind."

Turning around she caught his arm and moved closer to him to wrap her arms around his waist, feeling the closeness of his body. "We're having a baby," she beamed up at him, "a real baby."

"We are," he leaned down to press a kiss into her hair, closing his arms around her shoulders. "You are wonderful, you know that?"

"Why?" she laughed, "because I'm going to be like a beached whale if your daughter has anything to do with it?"

Grissom's breath caught in his throat. They were going to have a daughter. He turned his head so he could look deep into her eyes. "I love you so much Sara, I hope you know that."

Her eyes met his and she couldn't help but smile. "I do know that. I love you too," she told him, as she slowly moved her lips up to meet his to kiss him soundly.

Grissom pulled her closer to him, the love inside making him feel slightly giddy, almost buckling his knees. "How about I make you some breakfast?"

"Hmm," she grinned, "what did you have in mind?" She couldn't hide the happiness that she felt inside as she gently unwound her arms from his neck to reach for his hand, giving it a gentle tug.

"Hey, I thought you were tired," he laughed, following her willingly towards the bedroom.

"I am," she told him again before moving towards him, making him surrender into her kisses.

000000000000000

Later that night, both Sara and Grissom walked into the lab just as they always did, making sure one went in before the other. They knew that their relationship would be brought to the attention of others sooner or later, and the fact that Sara wouldn't be able to hide her pregnancy didn't help matters.

Grissom made it into his office, clicking on the light and watched as Sara walked by a few minutes later throwing a smile his way as she passed. He grinned back at her, he just couldn't seem to help himself these days; life was so good at the moment.

Looking on his desk he picked up a brown folder and began opening it, his mind on the earlier events of the sonogram.

"Hey Gil," Catherine smiled as she came into his office.

"Hi Cath" he looked up at her, a glint in his eye before he pulled out the papers from the folder.

"So, how did it go?" she asked I a hushed voice.

Grissom looked up at her unable to hide the smile that graced his features. "It was an experience I'll never forget."

"Well?" she asked again, the smile growing larger on her face "did you find out?"

Grissom's hand stilled and put the papers back down onto the desk to look directly into her eyes. "We did, and no I'm not telling you without Sara."

"Oh Gil," she whined, "come on just give me a hint. I won't say anything I promise."

"Nope," he smiled again "not this time Cath, you'll just have to be patient like everyone else."

Sara came into his office smiling at the scene before her. "Who's being patient?"

"Sara," Catherine beamed and turned to her "Gil won't tell me the sex of the baby."

Sara's eyes lit up as she looked over towards Grissom again. She turned back to Catherine and gave her a smile of her own "No, I'm not telling you, not until we're all together."

"Oh well," she sighed, "it was worth a try."

"You'll find out Cath," Sara smiled, "but not without the guys." She moved a hand to pat Catherine's arm. "Thanks for the jeans by the way."

"I thought you might be needing them, and they were just hanging in my closet." Catherine told her with a smile.

"Oh you have no idea," she grinned, "pretty soon I'll have no clothes that fit, and those jeans were great, thank you."

"Well how about you and me hit that mall after work. We'll go and shop for clothes then stop of at our usual restaurant." Catherine smiled happily. She realized that she really liked spending time with Sara, and they had become a little closer since Sara's pregnancy.

"Oh yeah I like the sound of that," Sara nodded with a smile.

Looking towards Grissom, Sara met his eyes and couldn't help the warm smile that she sent his way. Part of her wanted to go over to him and ask if he wanted to go with them, but she didn't.

"I'll be fine," she assured him softly when he motioned for them to move out of his office.

"I have no doubt," he told her with a smile. "Now come on, we have work to do."

All three left his office, but instead of going with them Grissom went to find the cases they had tonight.

He ran into Brass on his way, the smile leaving his face at the seriousness in his eyes. "I was just on my way to see you," Brass told him.

"Oh, anything I can help you with?"

"What say you come into my office so we can talk privately," Brass told him, motioning for him to follow, his voice telling Grissom this wasn't up for debate.

Grissom followed him in through the door and sat down in one of the chairs, waiting for him to speak.

"There isn't any easy way to ask this Gil," he told him "You and Sara...?""

Grissom caught his breath on a gasp, he knew this would happen sooner or later, but he hadn't prepared himself for the inevitable. His eyes darted around the room as he fought of what he should say knowing that he couldn't lie. So turning to Brass he shook his head "What about us?"

"Are you two kids… you know?" Brass asked with a smirk as he sank down into his chair.

Grissom's heart was thumping loudly in his chest as the situation became impossible to hide any longer. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Well what are you intending to do?" Brass asked again "You know as well as I do that as her supervisor, this is very much against the rules, even I know that."

"I know that too, don't you think this didn't cross my mind when I started seeing her?"

"Well, you know if you're caught out, things could get pretty ugly around here...I mean I could tell just by looking at the two of you," Brass told him,

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Gil," Brass told him "I don't want anything to happen to either of you, but both you and I know that she'd be the one who'll have to leave."

"I won't let them do that to her."

"Okay, so what are you intending to do?" Brass asked as he pushed his chair back to stand to his feet.

Grissom stood too, coming towards him slowly. "Look, I guess I should be the one to tell you before it becomes blatantly obvious."

"I'm listening," Brass nodded, even though he was pretty sure he knew what Grissom was about to tell him.

"Sara's pregnant." Grissom watched as the realization sank into Brass's eyes before the small smile appeared on his face.

"She's already half way through the pregnancy," Grissom told him, "I'm actually going to become a father."

"Well, this is a shocker," Brass grinned as he reached out to shake Grissom's hand "congratulations."

"Thanks," Grissom nodded. "We're happy about the baby and leaving her is not an option."

"I can see that," Brass nodded. "I'll do what I can to sit on this okay, but you do know that people will ask questions soon. Ecklie will have great pleasure in bringing you down when he finds out."

"Have you seen anything obvious to suggest that we are in a relationship?" Grissom asked, his voice wavering slightly.

"Only little things, but that's because I'm your friend," Brass smiled. Moving across to his desk he pulled out a half bottle of Brandy and lifted it. "You and I are going to have a drink after shift to celebrate."

"Sure Jim," Grissom nodded happily as he turned back towards the door.

"Hey Gil," Brass called out just before he left. Grissom turned his head and waited for him to speak.

"Tell Sara congratulations from me."

Grissom found himself smiling, "I will."

Everyone looked up as he came into the break room. Sara instantly realized there was something on his mind but she remained silent.

"Hey, you took your time," Catherine grinned.

"Yeah..." he told them as he started to hand out the folders, absentmindedly pairing himself with Sara again.

"You okay?" she asked him quietly, trying to keep the worry from her voice.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked suddenly, his voice firmer than he intended. He saw the hurt rise in her eyes, instantly regretting his harshness. "I'll tell you later."

"Okay," she smiled.

Both Grissom and Sara were unaware of their blonde co worker silently tapping her foot until she blocked them in the doorway.

"So are you going to tell us now?" Catherine asked, looking from Sara to Grissom then back to Sara again.

"Not here," Grissom told her. "Why don't you all come over to ours—I mean my house after work, we'll tell you then."

"Okay," Catherine nodded, knowing that none of them had missed the slip about Grissom's house being 'their' house. "Sara and I can take my car to the mall. That ok with you Sara?"

"Yep," she smiled, as she followed Grissom out of the door.

00000000000

Grissom opened his door for Sara and chuckled softly when she walked in, throwing her bags just inside the door before flopping onto the couch. She smiled over at him wearily holding up a hand for him to take, which he did.

"What's wrong Gris?" she asked as he came to kneel in front of her knees, "you've been so quiet."

He smiled up into her eyes before reaching up and planting a soft kiss on her lips "Nothing you should worry about sweetheart."

"But I do worry," she told him, her eyes searching his with a sudden fear "It's not me is it? You haven't decided this isn't working because I don't…."

Her words were cut off by his lips on hers, quieting her fears into oblivion as he devoured her mouth with his. When he drew away he leant in closer to lean his forehead against hers.

"I love you, Sara."

"I love you, too," she whispered against his lips "but you're still going to tell me what's bothering you."

Sighing heavily he leaned linked his hands in hers "Brass called me into his office to ask about us."

"What?" Sara gasped, "What did you tell him?"

"He asked about us and I told him about her," he smiled as he placed a hand on her stomach.

"I hope you didn't tell him that she's going to be a girl because Catherine will kill you if she finds out someone knew before she did!" she smiled as her hand joined his on her stomach.

"No. I don't have a death wish," he leaned over towards her again to capture her lips in a deep drugging kiss. The hard knock on the door broke them apart causing Sara to sigh in frustration.

"Catherine," she sighed with a smile, "On time as usual."

"Yes," he nodded, kissing her again before climbing to his feet to open the door.

"Hey," Catherine grinned as she came in, Nick and Warrick trailing behind her. Nick came over to Sara, sitting down beside her to pull her into a hug.

"Come on Grissom you're killing us here," Warrick groaned next to Catherine.

"Okay," Grissom laughed as he came over to Sara and perched onto the arm of the chair before linking his fingers with hers "we're having a girl."

Catherine gasped, "Oh that's great." She leapt from her chair and encased Sara in a huge hug. "I kept all of Lindsey's clothes from when she was a baby. I was just waiting for the right person to give them to."

"Cath," Sara's eyes sparkled with unshed tears, "are you sure?"

Catherine sat back on her heels, her eyes bright. "I'm guessing you don't have a sister do you honey?"

At Sara's small no, she smiled again. "I wouldn't want anyone else to have them." She sniffed back the moisture in her eyes "besides, this little girl is going to have an older cousin who is going to adore her. Lindsey's always wanted to have a new baby."

"Well she'll have one," Sara smiled and allowed herself to be pulled into another hug, even though she was unaccustomed to being the focus of everyone's attentions.

"Hey Cath," Nick grinned. "I want to hug my baby niece and her mom too you know."

Sara laughed and turned to him, her arms reaching around his neck to draw him into her embrace. When she pulled away she kissed his cheek softly, "This baby is going to be so spoiled."

"Hey what's the point of having uncles if we can't spoil her," Warrick grinned as he pushed Nick out of the way to pull her into his arms.

Grissom smiled at the scene before him. He never knew having a baby would be powerful enough to draw people together as much as it had. His musing was brought to a halt as he found Catherine's arms winding around his shoulders to pull him into her arms, "Hey, Gil congratulations. You're gonna be a daddy."

The smile that graced his face was enough to light up the room, "I am aren't I?"

The next voice he heard was Sara's close to his ear. "Yes you are."

He smiled into her eyes then, as everyone else seemed to disappear from the room leaving just the two of them as he brought her lips to his in a soft, loving kiss.

00000000000000000000000000000000

A few weeks later Sara had started to show the obvious signs of her pregnancy. She was in her 27th week and already finding it difficult to do mundane things like tying her shoes or even seeing her feet.

She sank down into Grissom's couch with a heavy sigh, her whole body groaning with tiredness.

"Hey sweetheart," he smiled as he came over to sit down next to her. "Go and have a lie down, it's been a long night."

She turned her head to smile up into his eyes; she couldn't believe how deeply her love had grown for him as her pregnancy had progressed. Since that first time a few weeks ago when they felt the baby move, he had been almost insufferable. Every time he came near her he would lay his hands on her belly bending to talk to it. Although she found this amazingly sweet, it was becoming a little annoying when she was in the middle of sleeping.

"I might do that," she told him, "but why don't you tell me what it was you couldn't tell me when we were at work?"

"Ah," he smiled "you never forget do you?"

"Nope."

"Okay," he began, reaching over to take her hand in his. "I've been thinking..."

"Oh," she grinned. "Isn't that a little dangerous?"

Grissom's eyes met hers, his amusement being carefully hidden behind a mock scowl. "As I was saying, I have been thinking, and I think it would be good for us as well as the baby if you moved in here with me."

Sara's eyes met his again, "You want us to live together?"

"I want so much more, Sara," he smiled as he leaned down to place a tender kiss in her hair.

"I haven't spent a night at my apartment since we found out about her," she smiled, her hand reaching down to caress her stomach. "I practically live here anyway."

"And I love having you here. This place is empty without you," he told her, leaning down to nuzzle her hair, closing his eyes at the sensations this woman evoked inside him.

She turned her head towards him so their faces were mere inches apart. Closing the gap she placed a soft kiss onto his lips before smiling against him. "I can't think of anything I would love more."

Grissom leant in closer to kiss her again before placing a soft kiss into her hair as they sat back on the couch. Wrapping his arms around her, Grissom sighed happily.

"Maybe we should think of a name for her," he suggested as his fingers traced tiny circles over her bare arm.

"We should," she grinned, covering his hand with hers to still his movements. "Did you have something special in mind?"

"Hmm," he sat back next to her placing his free hand over her belly. "I think Sara Grissom has a nice ring to it."

Sara started to smile and shifted her body so she could face him. "Gil, we can't call our daughter Sara. What would you call me?"

Grissom smiled slowly when he could see the silent understanding starting to peak in her eyes as she realized what he had just told her.

"Oh…" she gasped, her mind suddenly becoming clear, "did you just ask me…"

"I love you, Sara," he smiled, gazing into her eyes. "I want to spend every second of my life with you."

He leaned over to place a soft kiss on her lips before lingering there to whisper again. "Marry me?"

Sara's heart felt like it was going to burst into a burning flame as she found his words melting her from the inside out.

"Yes," she told him as she met his lips with her own for the briefest of kisses before she pulled back to gaze into his eyes. "I love you."

Tbc

See I told you to keep that bucket handy! Thanks for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN/ Here's the final chapter. I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed and PM'd me personally. This is my least favourite story as most of you know, but I am glad that people here seem to like it. I must warn you though that you'll probably need a very large bucket when you get to the end of this because it is hugely fluffy, and the last piece of this kind of fluff you're ever likely to get from me! Also, remember that this is a repost from 2003 before Brass and Greg had the relationship that they have with Sara now.**

**I'd also like to point out that I only write from experience and I have actually had 3 children of my own and I'm aware that things are probably done differently regarding hospital appointments etc. in the US than they are here in the UK. The birth and everything regarding pregnancy are based on my own personal experiences, and I know even now that precedures change yearly. My youngest is now 10, so I know much has changed since I was pregnant with him.**

**Thanks again to Trudy for putting up with me whining.**

5

Grissom pulled his car into the car park and waited patiently for Sara's to follow before climbing out of the door. He hated keeping up this pretence that they weren't together, and so far no one had asked outright or enquired to Sara about who the father was, although he knew the idle gossip had mentioned his name. Sara smiled at him from inside her car as he turned to walk towards the doors, his heart feeling lighter that it had ever felt before. She waited until he was out of sight before she opened her door to climb out, knowing that she couldn't wait to share her news with Catherine.

Grissom made his way towards the break room; his heart seemed to be beating to its own personal rhythm and he seemed to be overly anxious with his news and desperate to tell it.

He spotted Warrick and Nick through the glass windows reading the paper, unaware of his presence. Coming in through the doorway he went to stand beside the table, "Hey guys," he smiled.

Both turned to see their boss positively beaming. "Well don't you look like the cat that caught the canary?" Warrick grinned.

"Yeah man," Nick laughed, "what's got you in such a good mood?"

Grissom's smile deepened and he moved over towards the door to shut it closed, before coming in to sit down "I need to ask you both a huge favour."

"Depends on what it is?" Warrick asked dubiously.

"Hmm," Nick nodded "last time you asked for a favour, I ended up with a rash over my hands."

"No, no," he laughed again "It's nothing to do with an experiment."

"Okay," Warrick nodded again, his tone of voice wary.

"I wanted to know if you guys were free this Saturday," he told them, "at 2pm."

"Uh yeah," Nick nodded "I am, why?"

"Great," Grissom beamed "Warrick?"

"Yeah I'll be free. What's the big secret?"

"Sara and I are getting married, and we wanted you both to be there."

"What?" Nick gasped, "Wow, of course I'll be there."

"Yeah me too," Warrick grinned "congratulations man."

"Thanks," Grissom smiled, "but not a word to anyone okay, we want this kept private."

"Sure thing boss," Nick nodded, his eyes looking over to Warrick who repeated the gesture, both of them reeling with this news. Nick stood up quickly "Is Sara here yet?"

"She wanted to find Catherine. I'd give them a few minutes," Grissom grinned widely.

"Yeah, good idea. I might walk into talks about flowers and babies," he laughed. "I'll wait for a few minutes."

"Warrick?" Grissom asked again, directing his eyes towards his friend.

"Yeah?"

"I kinda need a best man, would you mind?" Grissom watched for his reaction, a little worried he'd say no.

"Hey of course," Warrick grinned, reaching out a hand to slap him on the arm "I'd be honoured."

Nick smiled, trying to stop himself from hovering near the door. "Okay, they've had enough time," he told them as he headed out of the break room.

000000000000000000

Sara found Catherine in the locker room hanging her jacket on a hanger. "Cath," she smiled.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly when she saw Sara's flushed face, "is it the baby?"

"No, no," she grinned, "I need to ask you something."

Catherine pulled on her hands to sit her down next to her, "You can ask me anything, you know that."

"Will you be my maid of honour?" Sara asked her, her eyes brimming with tears.

Catherine gasped, and pulled her into her arms "Oh, honey you know I will," she pulled away to place her hands on Sara's face, "When? Are you happy?"

"Cath, I just can't believe it, he just asked me and we went out before work to book that little chapel down town."

"Oh Sara, this is so great. When is the wedding?"

"This Saturday at 2 o'clock. That's okay isn't it, for you and Lindsay?" Sara moved her hands up to hold them on Catherine's over her face "I want Lindsey there too."

"I wouldn't miss this for anything," Catherine told her, feeling a build up of tears behind her eyes. "You'll need help arranging the dress and flowers, I'll come by after work and we'll make a start."

"Thank you," Sara breathed, "I was hoping you would." They both smiled before engulfing each other in a hug again.

The locker room door opened to reveal Warrick and Nick, both with huge grins of their faces. Nick came towards Sara to pull her up into a hug, rocking her from side to side "I'm so happy for you Sar, you deserve this."

"Thanks Nick," she told him as she kissed his cheek before pulling back to look into his eyes "Will you give me away?"

Nick's eyes suddenly took on a form of their own, the emotions inside them overflowing with love and pride "I would love to," he told her before pulling her to him again, burying himself in her embrace.

Sara felt the sharp jab of her daughter's foot kick into Nick's abdomen and he drew back to place his hand on her stomach

"Hey, hold on there little tiger," he spoke into her belly sniffing back the tears in his eyes.

Sara looked up at him with such adoration; she couldn't seem to keep the love from pouring out of her eyes. She was surrounded by her family, the people she loved the most and she couldn't have been happier.

Warrick came over to her, his face a huge grin as he enveloped her in his arms. "Hey, congratulations Sara."

"Thanks War," she smiled, the tears in her eyes coursing down her cheeks in uncontrollable waves of happiness.

Catherine smiled as she patted Nick's arm, both of them showing obvious signs of emotions. "Isn't it just supposed to be pregnant women who get weepy?" Nick asked with a sniff.

"Hey I cry, you all cry," Sara groused, her voice muffled into Warrick's chest.

"Ain't that the truth?" Nick told her as he moved to hold open the locker room door for them all to file out. Warrick held onto Sara for a while longer as they walked down the corridor behind Nick and Catherine who had gained some distance in front of them.

"Hey?" he smiled down at her, his arm flung over her shoulder, "you happy?"

She smiled up at him, tightening her arm around his back. "Oh yeah."

They had almost reached the break room when Conrad Ecklie passed them on his way out of the lab. His eyes lingered over both Warrick and Sara before he opened his mouth.

"Well, isn't this nice?" he drawled. "And we all had bet's on it being Grissom who got you knocked up."

"Hey, back off Ecklie," Warrick warned as he moved away from Sara to push her behind him protectively. "Keep your mouth shut."

"Only stating a fact," he grinned before backing away from them, his eyes peering over at Sara who had started to move forward.

"It is none of your damn business Ecklie," Warrick warned him again.

Grissom came out of nowhere storming towards Ecklie, his heart rate doubling in anger. "Get away from her."

"I'm going," Ecklie held up his hands in mock surrender. "Nice to see you all so close," he grinned as he walked away from them, leaving everyone seething in his wake.

"Hey, you okay?" Grissom asked Sara quietly as he moved her towards the break room away of prying eyes.

"I'm fine," she told him quietly. "Ecklie's a jerk, and he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about."

"As long as you're alright," he told her in a whisper, wanting desperately to hold her but knowing he couldn't, not until shift was over.

"I am," she told him with a small smile. "Aren't we supposed to be working tonight?"

000000000

Saturday came around swiftly, bringing with it a wave of happiness never been felt before by the occupants inside Sara's apartment.

Catherine brushed Lindsey's hair before fixing a white and gold ribbon into her blonde strands.

"Turn around sweetie," she smiled, "let's have a look at you."

Lindsey turned quickly, swirling her dress outwards with a small giggle. "How do I look mommy?" she grinned.

"Perfect," Catherine gasped proudly. "Now we just need to know what's keeping Sara and then I can go and get ready."

A knock sounded on the door causing them both to jump. Catherine gave Lindsey a smile "Would you go and see if Sara needs any help for me?"

"Okay," she grinned, as she disappeared down towards Sara's room.

Catherine opened the door to reveal Nick in his dark gray suit, looking very dapper and handsome

" Wow," Catherine laughed as she pulled him inside, closing the door behind him "You certainly scrub up nicely."

"Well thanks," he grinned. "How's Sara doing?"

"Just about to find out," she told him. "Oh here," she went over to a small box and took out a white rose buttonhole for his suit jacket.

"Thanks," he grinned taking it from her hands and moved to put it on when he stopped and caught his breath at the vision that had just appeared in the doorway "Sara," he gasped.

Catherine turned to look in the same direction and felt her emotions start to bubble to the surface "Oh Sara."

"Does this look okay?" she asked as she came forward holding onto Lindsey's hand. "Lindsey seems to think so, but she's biased."

"Well I'd say Lindsey's right," Catherine smiled happily down at her daughter whose eyes kept focused on Sara's face.

Nick's eyes ran over her in appreciation. The dress was exquisite, ivory spaghetti straps held up the bodice that had gold silken strands interwoven with the material. The ivory silk folds ran over her body, enhancing the swell of her belly to run down in a silken puddle at her ankles. She looked beautiful; her hair was piled loosely atop her head, held up by a comb full of white flowers, to leave some wispy strands to trail down the side of her face. Her cheeks had a rosy glow about them and her eyes shone brightly with excitement.

"Honey, you look amazing," he said on a gasp, his eyes tearing themselves away from her face to the little girl beside her, "and you look so pretty, sweetheart."

Lindsey giggled and let go of Sara's hand to throw her arms around Nick who had bent down to hug her.

"Hey Linds," Catherine called "how about you come and help me with my dress?"

"Okay mommy," she smiled, releasing Nick to follow her into the bedroom.

Nick found himself speechless when he was alone with Sara. Slowly coming to his sense he moved towards her, a huge smile forming on his face as his eyes shone with both love and pride.

Sara came towards him, reaching out to take the white rose from his hands and began fiddling with his jacket lapel to pin the rose in place. "There," she smiled "you're all ready now."

Sara," he said on a gasp, "you look so beautiful."

Her eyes met his then, adoration pouring from her heart, "Thank you Nick."

"You know Grissom is one hell of a lucky man," he smiled again before bending to kiss her cheek.

"I think I'm the lucky one," she told him, her voice cracked with emotion "I have so many people in my life who love me. I never thought I'd ever have a wedding day, or even be having a baby."

"Well you are," he told her "you deserve all of this...and you're right we all love you, don't ever forget that."

"I won't," she smiled.

"Hey, no making her cry Nicky," Catherine smiled from the doorway. "You know we'll never get her to stop."

"Cath," Sara gasped, "you look great."

Catherine looked down at herself and smiled. The dress was the same colour as Lindsey's, mottled gold lace that draped over the white silk beneath it.

"Yeah Cath," Nick nodded "All three of you lovely ladies are gonna knock em dead."

"I hope not," Sara laughed again as she moved to the box of flowers to hand Lindsey her small white posy. "There you go sweetie."

Lindsey took the flowers with a smile, swishing her dress proudly for Nick who was smiling at her. Sara handed Catherine her bouquet and then took out her own.

"Well this is it," she told them with a heavy sigh, as the butterflies in her stomach started to flutter about making her nervous.

"Yep," Catherine nodded, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. "Are you ready?"

Sara's eyes met hers then, a happy smile filling her face "I am."

"Okay then," Nick grinned, holding out his hand to Lindsey " let's get you gorgeous girls to the wedding then shall we?"

He opened the door for them all to file out, then locked up Sara's apartment before placing her keys in his pocket as they walked down towards the car.

000000

Inside the chapel, Grissom waited, nervously fiddling with the hem of his jacket. Warrick watched him as he rocked back and forth on his heels "Gris would you calm down, she'll be here."

He raised his head to look over at Warrick and sighed, "Sorry."

"Look, go and sit down. I'll go and see if I can see them okay?"

"Yeah," he breathed "okay."

Warrick watched him with a smile; he'd never seen Grissom this nervous before. Shaking his head he began to walk away towards the entrance to watch for the car with Nick and the girls to arrive.

He didn't have to wait long before Nick pulled the car up in front of the chapel. Warrick's eyes caught sight of Catherine first who stepped out of the car.

"Wow Cath," he breathed appreciatively, "You look amazing."

She looked up at him and rewarded him with a huge smile "Wait till you see Sara," she told him.

Lindsey was next and she looked over at Warrick "You like my dress Warrick?" she asked giving him a twirl.

"You look gorgeous sweetheart," he told her with a smile, his eyes drifting behind her towards Sara who Nick was helping out of the car. Warrick's jaw dropped open when he saw her, she looked totally beautiful and he found himself holding his breath.

"Hi Warrick," she smiled as she came towards him placing a kiss on his cheek "How's Grissom, is he okay?"

"What?" he shook himself mentally. "Yeah he's good. Dang Sara you look absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you," she smiled again, a small blush creeping up her face.

Catherine tugged on Warrick's arm, taking charge when no one had made an effort to move. "Lets get inside, I'm sure Gil is a nervous wreck by now."

"Oh yeah," he grinned, "I'll go inside."

Nick came to stand beside Sara, taking her hand reassuringly. He couldn't remember a time when he'd felt this amount of emotion all in one moment. "You're gonna be okay honey."

"I know," she whispered into his ear, clasping his hand tightly to remove it and place into the crook of his arm.

Inside Warrick came to stand beside Grissom, a huge grin on his face "Man you are gonna be blown away, Sara looks great."

Grissom's head turned towards the doors as the music started to play. He swallowed heavily when he saw first Catherine, and then Lindsey walk in. He felt his mouth grow dry when he saw the vision that followed behind them just a few seconds later. Grissom's heart almost stopped at the sight of her, she took his breath away.

His eyes followed her as she came to stand beside him, falling in love with her all over again in one precious moment. The music stopped and they turned towards the minister who stood in front of them with a smile on his face. His eyes looked from Sara to Grissom and then to their guests before he began.

"We're here today to join this man and woman in marriage," The registrar spoke before them, drawing Grissom's attention to him.

"Who brings this woman to be joined in marriage?" he asked with a smile.

"I do," Nick spoke, casting a smile her way adoringly.

Catherine stepped forward beside Sara to take her bouquet, and then stepped back to stand beside Lindsey again. Sara smiled at her nervously before turning to look up at Grissom and taking his hand in hers.

"We are here to witness the love of two people who have chosen to enter in a life of love and dedication, pledging themselves in mind, body and soul in holy matrimony."

He looked from Grissom to Sara, and then over to Warrick "Do you have the rings?"

Warrick stuck his hands inside his jacket pocket to pull out two ring boxes. He opened them and removed the rings to place on the bible in the registrars hands.

"Sara, do you take Gilbert to be your lawfully wedded husband. Will you love him and no other, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

Sara smiled up at him, her heart beating wildly "I will."

"Gilbert," the registrar turned to him then "Will you take Sara to be your lawfully wedded wife. Will you love her and no other, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

Grissom kept his eyes fixed on hers as he felt his heart quake, "I will."

"You have both declared your love and devotion, and I ask anyone who thinks there should be a reason why these two people can not be married speak now or forever hold his peace." Sara looked into Grissom's eyes and smiled, letting him see how much she wanted to be here with him.

He felt his heart melting; he couldn't believe that this was finally happening, that he was the man she chose to love.

The registrar lowered the rings laying on the bible for Grissom to take, which he did, delicately placing it onto Sara's finger. "I give you this ring as a sign of my love for you," he told her softly "I will never love anyone else like I love you."

Sara felt her eyes sting with tears as she reached over to take Grissom's ring and placed it on his finger. "I give you this ring as a sign of my love," she told him, "there has never been anyone else who could ever compare to you."

They both smiled at each other then, their surroundings melting away to leave only them.

"By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife," the registrar smiled. "Congratulations."

Grissom felt like his heart was going to explode as his lips met hers, their first kiss as a married couple and it felt good.

They broke apart to be greeted by hugs and hand shakes from their friends as they left each other's arms. Catherine smiled happily, the tears in her eyes rolling down her face as she hugged Sara.

Warrick and Nick took it in turns to pat Grissom on the back while Sara bent down to hug Lindsey to her.

"If you'd like to follow me," the minister smiled to the new married couple, "you can sign the register."

Grissom smiled down at Sara again as he took her hand in his to place it in the crook of his arm as they began to follow the minister into the chapels tiny vestry.

They emerged a few minutes later to be showered with confetti. Catherine handed Sara her bouquet and stood back as they climbed into Grissom's car.

"We'll see you at the restaurant," Catherine called to them as Sara pulled her seat belt over her shoulders.

Warrick came over to put his arms around Catherine's shoulders as the new married couple drove off. "You think they'll mind that we invited Brass and Greg?"

"Are you kidding?" she smiled, "they'll hardly even notice anyone. I'll be surprised if they make it through the entire evening."

"Yeah I know what you mean," he grinned.

"Hey you two," Nick called out to them as he opened the back door for Lindsey, "you coming?"

00000000000000000

Grissom helped Sara out of the car once they arrived at the hotel restaurant where the staff was waiting to greet them.

"Catherine did a great job with the arrangements," Sara whispered as she smiled up at him, "it was her idea that we stay here for the weekend."

"I know," he told her, leaning his head to kiss her lightly, "you look stunning."

"Thank you," she smiled up into his eyes, "you don't look so bad yourself."

He was just about to kiss her again when they heard a camera flash. They both looked up to see Greg smiling brightly, with Brass stood by his side.

"Congratulations," Greg told them leaning over to kiss Sara's cheek, "you look amazing."

Sara smiled happily, this day was turning out to be full of surprises. Nick's car came into the car park to pull up besides Grissom's. All the four occupants climbed out to make their way over towards Sara and Grissom.

"Wow Catherine," Greg smiled "you look great."

"Thanks Greg," She smiled as she came towards Sara to give her a quick hug. "Hope you didn't mind we invited Greg and Brass."

"Of course not," she smiled "they're friends too."

Catherine squeezed her hand before moving over to draw Grissom into a warm hug.

"You're going to be so happy," she whispered into his ear.

"I know," he whispered back as he released her to draw Sara close to him again.

"Okay everyone hold still while we take the photo's," Brass grinned as he began snapping away catching posed shots and one's when he caught them off guard.

Eventually they all made their way inside to celebrate, all of them drawing closer to the bond they shared, sealing them together as not only friends but the family they all were.

000000000000000000

Sara opened her eyes groggily, reaching over to run her hand over her husbands chest rousing is from slumber "We have to get up soon," she whispered into his ear, smiling as he grumbled into her hair, pulling her closer to his body.

She laid her head on his chest, positioning her body to accommodate her rapidly growing stomach. This would be their first shift as a married couple and she couldn't help the excitement building in her chest at the thought on Ecklies face.

"Baby, come on," she smiled into his chest, "wake up."

She felt him chuckling into her hair as he moved away to look down and smile at her "What's the rush?"

He felt her hands glide up his chest to curl her fingers in his hair. She smiled seductively as she met his lips with hers, kissing him to wakefulness. "No rush,"

Grissom pulled away from her, his eyes searching her face "We can actually walk into work together tonight, do you know how much I have wanted to be able to do that?"

"Oh yeah," she laughed, "I can't wait to see the look on Ecklie's face, he's such an ass."

"Well at least we'll put the gossips to rest tonight," he smiled, his hand coming up to trace her face. "I love you."

She smiled again as she brought her lips to his, bringing him to her in a wave of passion that only she was capable of doing, as they lost themselves in each other.

Later that night, Grissom pulled up into the car park, his eyes instantly going to Sara's face

"How you feeling?"

"I'm great," she smiled brightly as she reached out to squeeze his hand.

"No, I mean how are you feeling about this being your last week?"

"Oh that," she sighed. "Well I am getting a lot more tired lately and you know what the doctor told me last time."

"Yeah, she told you that you should have given up work 4 weeks ago," he scorned, "but you're so stubborn."

Sara looked at him with a smile "Oh look at us, we've only been married 2 days and already you're being bossy."

"Sweetheart," he sighed, "it's just..."

"Hey, it was a joke," she grinned, as she squeezed his hand again "and actually I am looking forward to having a rest. She seems to be more active just lately."

Grissom's eyes travelled down to her belly and found his hand reaching over to cover it gently as their daughter kicked beneath his fingers. " I can't believe in only 12 weeks she'll be here."

"I know," she sighed, laying her hand atop of his, "and then we'll have no sleep and I'll be cranky." She couldn't help the chuckle that came from her chest as she saw the look in his eyes.

"Come on," she smiled. "We don't want to piss anyone off because you're being all mushy again."

"For your information Sara I do not mush," he protested jokingly.

"No," she grinned as she opened her door to climb out, meeting him around the other side before clamping her hand into his, "of course you don't."

They broke away from each other as they made their way into the lab, passing some of the day shift along the way. Sara made sure she stayed close to Grissom, just to make a point so she could say something to one of them later, but to her annoyance no one did. It seemed everyone had chosen not to notice them tonight.

"Hey Sara," Catherine called out behind her. Sara stopped and smiled as she turned to look behind her. Grissom squeezed her arm, bringing her eyes to his again "I'm gonna go and see what we've got tonight okay?"

"Okay," she smiled, her eyes lingering on him as he walked away.

"Hey," Catherine smiled at her when she came to stand beside her, " how's it feel to be Mrs. Grissom?"

"You know you're the first person to call me that," Sara smiled. "It's a little weird actually."

Catherine smiled and linked her hand through Sara's arm as they waked towards the break room "You know the guys are planning on throwing you a party. I told them I'd ask you first just to be sure you're up to it."

"That's so sweet of them, but you guys have given me so much already. You don't need to throw me parties just because this is my last week."

"Hey this place is going to be lost without you, they just want to give you a good send off," she smiled, "and of course they love you."

"I know," Sara smiled again, "well can we maybe have it at our place? At least if I doze off no one will have to carry me anywhere."

"Of course," Catherine grinned as she leaned in close to her friend's ear, "and you know as well as I do that Gil would carry you for miles if he had to."

"I know," she smiled happily "but don't let him know I know that."

They walked into the break room to find the guys already there waiting for them. " Hey you two," Nick grinned, as he moved over on the couch for Sara to sit down.

"How's my favourite mom to be?"

"Fat," she grumbled with a smile "I can't even see my feet anymore."

He chuckled softly as he leaned forward to look down. "Sweetie your feet look fine to me."

"You are so funny," she mocked, swiping him with her hand.

"Sara, you look great," Warrick told her with a smile.

"Thanks War." She grinned as they sat back waiting to see what cases they had tonight.

000000000000000

Friday came soon enough, and Sara had to admit she was a little sad at leaving the lab for the last time. She knew she'd be back after the baby, but this just seemed strange.

She'd bumped into Ecklie a couple of days ago and he'd practically drooled all over her, asking personal questions about the baby and the father.

"_That's none of your damn business," she'd told him angrily._

"_Maybe not, but come on everyone's curious."_

_She'd been about to answer with another angry retort when Grissom had appeared from nowhere, placing himself in between her and Ecklie._

"_What do you want with my CSI?" he'd asked angrily._

"_Oh so she's yours now is she?" he'd drooled, unprepared for the angry shove that Grissom pushed his way._

"_Yes she's my CSI, but she also happens to be my wife. Do you have a problem with that Conrad?"_

_Sara smiled as she remembered his face, totally shocked and speechless. He'd just turned and skulked away._

She smiled again at the memory, jumping slightly when she felt a hand lightly touch her shoulder "Hey, are you okay?"

Smiling, she turned her face towards her husbands, giving him a huge beaming grin, "I am now."

"Come on, lets get home before Catherine and the guys come over, it's going be a long night."

"Yep," she sighed happily as she let him lead her towards the car.

10 WEEKS LATER

Grissom woke up suddenly in a cold sweat. He moved his arms towards the other side of the bed only to find it empty. Instantly awake, he grabbed his robe and got out of bed to go in search of Sara.

She looked up from the table as he came into the room. "Hey," she smiled brightly.

He walked around the table to plant a kiss into her hair, "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come out here so I didn't wake you," she smiled up at him adoringly. "I know I disturb you when I can't get comfortable."

"It doesn't matter," he told her softly, "it won't be for much longer now." His hand came down to her now swollen stomach. She had grown considerably in these last few weeks, her belly seeming to be bigger than she was.

"Is she restless?" he asked as he moved behind her to nuzzle the hair at the base of her neck, without breaking contact with her stomach.

"Mmm," she sighed contentedly "not too much, but everything is so uncomfortable."

She turned in his arms, letting out a frustrated sigh, "I can't even get my arms around you anymore."

"Oh honey," he smiled, bending down to kiss her head, "that doesn't mean I can't hold you."

"I'm fat," she moaned miserably.

"You're beautiful," he countered.

"I'm.." she thought of another word but came to a sudden halt as she felt a pop followed by a trickle coming from beneath her.

"Oh," she gasped.

"What?" Grissom looked at her worriedly, "honey, what is it?"

She looked up at him then, a worried smile forming on her face. "I think my water just broke."

"What?" he gasped, starting to panic. "Okay I'll get dressed, and then call the hospital," he moved with lightning speed towards the bedroom hitting his foot against the door along the way, cursing quietly as he scrambled for his clothing.

Sara stood still, stunned by what was happening to her. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all she thought to herself, instantly regretting it as a wave of pain tore through her abdomen bringing her to her knees. She tried to control her breathing, holding the panic inside to a minimum as the wave of pain washed over her to slowly subside.

"Gil," she moaned, "we need to go to the hospital."

"I know," he called as he came running out of the door pulling on a sock almost tripping over as he saw her bent on the floor.

"Sara?" he gasped, making his way towards her to sink beside her on his knees "honey?"

"I think I need to..." she gasped again as another wave of pain shook her body, making it hard for her to catch her breath. She found herself leaning forward on all fours trying to ease the pain away.

"I'll call the hospital," he told her quickly as he grabbed his phone and dialled.

The wave of pain began to subside again, leaving her breathless. She took the break to stand on her feet, wobbling slightly at the ferocity of the contractions.

She could hear Grissom's muffled voice from the bedroom as he tried to keep the panic from his voice, and she knew he was just as scared as she was.

"Okay," he told her as he carried her bag. "They're expecting us."

"Okay," she nodded breathlessly as another pain took over her body. Bending slightly forward, she dug her fingers into his arm and rested her head against his shoulder until the contraction had passed.

"Oh god, that was only 3 minutes," he told her worriedly as he tried to hold her upright before another contraction gripped her. Sara gasped for breath before she felt she was ready to start walking again.

"We'd better get there Gil," she breathed, "Seems she takes after you for her time keeping."

He helped her out of the doorway as he chuckled softly. "Don't you mean your time keeping; you're the one who's always early?"

0000000000

Grissom had practically driven like a mad man to the hospital as Sara had another powerful contraction in the car along the way.

"They're too fast," she groaned when another wave of pain slowly subsided. "Gil...I...argghh—" taking a breath Sara tried holding her hands over her stomach, hoping that the heat would ease the pain but nothing was helping. Clamping her jaw shut she squeezed her eyes closed and tried to breathe through her nose but the pain was getting stronger with each passing contraction leaving her almost no time to recover.

As he pulled into the hospital, a nurse ran forward with a wheelchair, insisting she sat in it to rush her into delivery. She had protested at first, until her legs seemed to want to stop working, so she relented.

Half an hour later Sara was lying on a bed in the delivery suite. She shifted her legs uncomfortably, modesty long forgotten as the pain began to slowly get worse and worse as time went on.

Grissom stroked her hair as he sat by her side. His eyes kept drifting to the screen that monitered her contractions and he found himself leaning forward wrapping his hands around one of hers when he saw another peak on the screen.

"Oh god," she breathed, "here comes another one." She scrunched up her face in pain, trying to even out her breath, but it was becoming difficult to even breathe.

Grissom held his breath when his knuckles turned white. Sara was squuzing his hand so hard that he lost the feeling in his fingers, but he didn't care. He just needed to stop the pain for her. He needed to do something, anything that would ease it.

"Hello Sara," the midwife smiled cheerily when she walked into the room, "how are you doing?"

"She's in pain," Grissom snapped, "can't you give her anything?"

"I'm afraid your wife is already in the latter part of the second labour stage," she told him sympathetically.

She came over to rub Sara's leg as she watched the monitor, noting that another contraction was peaking.

"Tell me when the contraction has eased Sara and we'll have a look to see how far you've dilated okay?" the midwife asked as she pulled on a latex glove.

"k," Sara nodded through clenched teeth, letting out a slow breath as the contraction started to die away.

"You'd better do it now," she mumbled tiredly "they're coming so fast."

"That's good Sara, the strong ones work the best," she smiled as she came to examine her quickly before another contraction overtook her body again. "8cm Sara, only 2 more to go and then you'll be ready to push. Seems this little one is ready to come and see the world."

"Yeah just like her father," she chuckled, only to have it die away as another strong wave of pain caught her.

She panted heavily as the pain ripped through her insides, so strong it took her breath away making it hard for her to breathe.

"Wanna push," she managed to groan as the overwhelming urge took her over.

"Not yet," her midwife soothed. "Let's just have a look."

She didn't get to finish as another contraction came in the wake of the first, taking over Sara's body like something possessed. She squeezed Grissom's hand hard and groaned painfully, her voice breaking on a sob.

"I want to go home."

"Sweetheart it's okay," he felt his voice breaking when he saw the pain in her eyes. He'd never felt so helpless in his whole life.

"It's not okay," she sobbed into him. "I want to go home. I don't want to do this anymore."

"It won't be long now," he told her gently, holding her close to him as much as he could.

"You said that ages ago," she told him angrily, only to sob his name as another powerful wave overtook her body.

The midwife bent to examine her again, trying to be as gentle as she could.

"Okay Sara that last contraction was your last cm, so on the next contraction I want you to take a deep breath and push down for me."

"Did you hear that Sara?" Grissom said softly, rubbing her shoulder. He stood up to let one of the assisting midwives come over to check the contraction monitor only to have Sara's panic stricken eyes darting to his face.

"Gil?"

"It's okay, I'm here," he told her, moving quickly back to her side. He saw her breathing coming erratically again as he held onto her tightly as she pushed hard with the contraction, groaning through her teeth as she pushed.

"Okay, that's good Sara," the midvife told her, giving her all the encouragement she could.

One contraction followed another until half an hour later a baby's cries erupted into the room to mingle with relieved sobs and triumphant cries from the nursing staff as well as the parents.

Sara fell backwards onto the pillows exhausted as the midwife laid their baby onto her chest.

"Hello you," she sobbed to the little baby who had settled against her. Sara looked up and saw Grissom, tears pouring down his face as he gazed down at her and their baby in awe.

His lips found hers in the gentlest kiss she had ever experienced, holding her there, enchanted.

"Thank you," he whispered into her hair as he moved down to their daughter to place a soft kiss on her head.

"Does daddy want to cut the cord?" The doctor asked, her own eyes glowing with emotion.

Grissom moved over to the Doctor to follow her instructions, as she guided his hands to the right position. He had never felt so elated before in his life as he came over to sit beside the most precious people in his life.

The midwife that was standing beside Sara lifted the baby away from her mother to rub all the blood away from her hair and face, before weighing her, and then wrapped her in a blanket before handing her back.

Sara gazed down at this new life in her arms; mesmerized by the love she felt bursting from her heart. She gazed up at her husband again, feeling that same love flowing from his eyes as he leaned down to lift his baby daughter into his arms.

Grissom was speechless; he didn't know what to say anymore. He fell in love with this little bundle the instant he knew she existed and even more so now that she was here. His eyes left her face to gaze down to her mothers who was looking tired but extremely happy. She was gazing up at him with tears in her eyes as she watched him.

"She's beautiful," he whispered as he came to sit down on the chair beside her, leaning over to kiss her lips, "so are you."

00000000

A few hours later Sara was settled into her room, changed and refreshed, feeling exhausted but too happy to sleep. Their baby was now dressed in a pink romper suit, asleep in her father's arms.

The door opened slowly to reveal Nick, Warrick and Catherine who couldn't wait to see the new arrival. Nick came to Sara instantly, kissing her on her cheek with pride. Catherine was beside Grissom in a heartbeat, taking the offered bundle to hold her in her arms feeling tears pooling in her eyes.

"Oh she's beautiful," she gasped over at Sara then to Grissom.

Warrick came to stand beside her, gazing down into the baby's face, immediately bending to plant a gentle kiss on her head.

"Hello baby," he smiled.

Grissom and Sara sat back against the bed, his arms holding her as they watched their baby being passed around their friends until she ended up in Nick's arms. He gazed down at her proudly, and then turned his face to her parents, "She's perfect. What are you going to call her?"

Sara smiled up at him then held on to Grissom's hand. "Megan Catherine," she told him, instantly hearing a gasp from the woman standing beside Nick.

"Oh that's so..."

Catherine stopped to wipe a tear from her eyes as she came to hug first Grissom and then Sara. "I'm so proud of you, Sara."

"So am I," Grissom smiled down at her.

They looked up to see baby Megan being passed back to Warrick who looked like he'd just lost his heart. He gazed down at her to plant a gentle kiss on her soft cheek unwilling to relinquish his hold on her until Catherine held out her arms. Reluctantly he kissed Megan's head before handing her over to Catherine who rocked her gently as soon as she held her.

It had been one heck of a ride, Sara mused as she gazed around the room, but she wouldn't have changed a single second. She was here now with her family, the people who loved her, and as she leaned into her husband's side she realized that life had never been so good. It was perfect…………

END (YAY!)

Thanks for making it to the end, I hope I didn't make anyone throw up onto their keyboard!


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